Today I want to talk to you about finding your True Self after abuse. This is the person you wish to be – having the capacity to generate love, truth, great health, success and continual growth into more of yourself and your life.
This is important because you were not your Best Self in and after a toxic relationship. You became a much lesser version of your true Soul Potential.
Of course, that was not your fault. It stands to reason when you are on a battlefield, you aren’t going to be wellness, smiles and sweetness. When you are lied to, have reality twisted, get the rug pulled out from under you, and do not receive accountability or repair, your Inner Identity is drastically affected and you get sick – mentally, emotionally, spiritually and even physically.
The four pillars of your Inner Identity – ‘love’ (meaning the human connection to yourself and others), ‘approval’ (knowing your value in the world), ‘security’ (what your now and future will bring), and ‘survival’ (if you will be able to get through this and what is coming) – are all compromised.
Leaving you asking, “Who AM I?”
When thrust into survival, you have zero ability to love yourself, others, your life, or things that used to bring you passion, well-being and purpose. Additionally, there are multiple losses to come to terms with – your mental health and the lost ground you have suffered whilst in survival. This could be shattered relationships, inability to work or financial setbacks.
Probably the greatest mourning is the loss of who you thought this person was, and having to accept they are capable of such actions, lies, and lack of conscience and empathy that you didn’t believe was possible from someone you loved.
With all my heart, I want you to know that struggling with recovery, or never being the same again after an experience like this, does not have to be your life sentence.
There are definite steps that you can take to find your True Self after abuse. Today I want to address these with you.
Survival First
A metaphor for the journey from toxic relationships to your True Self is this…
Jumping off a burning, sinking ship onto a small life raft with whatever you can take with you. Everything you thought was ‘your life’ is with that ship. If you stay on the large boat, hanging onto dependencies, false potential, ‘stuff’ and the dream you thought was real, you are going to get burnt and drowned.
In a toxic relationship, by the time you are discarded or have to bring yourself to leave, things are in serious trouble. You’ve already done the rounds with the issues. You have spoken up and fought for yourself, and the relationship. Or maybe you acquiesced, did not have a voice and tried to ‘go along to get along’ and survive the toxic flareups, but nothing changed. Typically, you TRIED over and over again to make the relationship work with this person, and have sustained serious damage. You have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Your nervous system is shot to pieces. Not only is the ship in bad shape, you are as well.
But you still have a True Self to salvage. The ship is a False Self reality – it’s not aligned in health or integrity. You are entering the lifeboat not because you want to, but because you have to. You are entering the lifeboat not because you don’t love this person, but because you have no choice other than to love yourself.
In the lifeboat on the open sea, it’s treacherous, you are terrified. You feel alone, in the dark and out in the cold. You believe there is an island somewhere that you could make it to, but you can’t see it yet. There is very little aboard the lifeboat, because so much of you got lost in that relationship – burned up, emptied out and even destroyed. Your heart is shattered, your mind is fried, your nervous system shot to pieces and your spirit deeply disturbed that your life ended up like this.
But you still have your Soul – the very essence of YOU – to protect, stand for, survive with, heal and eventually Thrive with.
In practical terms, getting to an island as fast as you can is important. This means finding somewhere to stay if you are leaving, and finding supportive people who can help you. Support is needed right now, and that can be difficult to reach out for and accept, especially when the narcissist has isolated you and made many believe that you are the crazy one.
You may be filled with shame and guilt about how sick you have become and the things you have said and done under the intense pressure of ongoing abuse.
I strongly suggest that the RIGHT support network is essential.
Many people make the mistake of going to victimised places and forums for support. I don’t recommend this at all. Sharing war stories is not what you need right now, such as “Well, you think that was bad? This is what happened to me!” You need HEALTHY people to support you, who not only empathise and validate what you went through, but who can help you heal for real as well.
Sadly, most people can’t fathom the devastating, mind-bending effects of narcissistic abuse, unless they have experienced it themselves – and if they have they are usually very toxically damaged and can’t help themselves get well, much less you.
You need people who know what it is like to be in that small lifeboat, who made it to the island and rebuilt with the right tools and processes. In fact, they built their own private resort on these islands – no matter what they originally had with them on their lifeboats!
As such, I would love to welcome you into our beautiful community where I am confident you will receive clarity and powerful answers as to what REALLY happened to you, and HOW to come out the other side of this, not just into a New Self, but your True Self – a greatly improved version of yourself, far superior to Who You Were Being before abuse – even if abuse is all that you have ever known.
To join our community, you can sign up to my FREE 16 Day Recovery Course. Or you can intensively heal for real with Lifetime Membership of the incredible Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP). To find out more just click on this link.
These powerful transformational resources will save you so much time, maybe even decades, trying to find your True Self after abuse.
Maybe, like my previous Self, you were used to doing everything alone. Maybe you have struggled to ask for support or are scared of being rejected or controlled if you accept it.
A powerful ‘accepting support’ mantra is:
“I open up to allow in the support, guidance and love that is my divine right to help me heal.”
If you are a NARP Gold member and are not visiting the NARP Community Forum to receive FREE, unlimited, lifetime access to support and solutions, then you can set this Goal in the Bonus Goal Setting Module:
“I release the need to do everything myself. I let people in to help, support, love and partner with me in the growth toward my True Self.”
This is a powerful, life-changing shift for SO many people!
Keep clearing all resistances in your Being until you reach a 10/10 on this Goal.
If you are currently a NARP Silver Member and wish to have Forum access, please write to [email protected], and one of my lovely team members will help you to upgrade!
Emotions Next
What I find most challenging about helping people find their True Self after abuse is helping them commit to healing from the inside out.
Meaning going within to heal, calm and put themselves back together rather than trying to get something outside to help this.
Which is like trying to fix a faulty car engine with the bonnet closed. Or stapling sandwiches onto your sweater to feel like you have eaten lunch.
Not only have we all been trained away from going within, but it is typical to obsess about everything outside ourselves when traumatised.
Have you ever had the experience of trying to put a piece of furniture together and getting triggered and frustrated with it? It doesn’t work until you detach from the problem, calm yourself down on the inside, and then read the instructions again.
This is a very simplified version of living life from the inside out. Nothing works in our life with untreated internal triggered trauma – it just gets worse. I don’t believe there is any place we get to see the devastating effects of this more than in and after narcissistic abuse.
There is no relief in obsessively thinking about the abuse and what they did, talking to them, trying to hold them accountable, being stressed and then re-traumatised by trying to deal with the heavy fallouts, losses and disasters that your life has become as a result of the breakup, and the lack of closure or peace afterwards.
Only you can heal these inner states. These feelings are in your body, and nothing outside of you will heal them – not even if you receive a genuine apology (which is extremely unlikely).
There is still the trauma of lost dreams, wasted opportunity, your blown-out nervous system, the fear of the future, the feelings of abandonment – and the list goes on and on. Plus, you have a break-up to get through with all the nasty fallout that is common from narcissists, plus a future to try to rebuild whilst you go through possible hoovering, threats, abuse by proxy, breadcrumbing and goodness knows what else. To complicate matters, you may have kids and property involved.
In these extreme times, it stands to reason that EVERYTHING stands a much better chance with healthier, calmer and more stable emotions.
There is an old expression, “When you don’t have time to meditate, is the time you need to meditate the most.”
Mine is, “After narcissistic abuse, when you least want to meet your inner being to heal it, is the time that you need to do this the most.”
Otherwise, you will experience a terribly tough ride. The WORST cases of narcissistic abuse breakdowns we see in this community are people NOT working through their emotions.
Contrary to popular belief, turning inwards to meet and heal the Self is not a ‘horrible’ thing to do. When you dedicate yourself to it, it brings immediate relief, clarity and calm back into your life because it settles emotional dysreglation – the trauma in your Inner Being that is causing emotional agony – and the accompanying stinking thinking. If you address that internal trauma, then the obsessive panicked, shattering thoughts start to heal as well, because your brain follows your Inner Being.
Inner Being MUST come first. Trying to THINK, talk or research your way out of the pain equals losing every time because the internal trauma is NOT addressed.
My suggestion to you is meditation, breathwork, being in nature… anything that stops you thinking and takes you lovingly inside to yourself, to self-reflect, self-love, self-soothe and heal. You can’t shame and blame yourself into wellness – it only creates more trauma.
A powerful ‘turning inwards’ mantra is:
“It is safe for me to turn within. My Inner Being is waiting for my love, devotion and healing to become whole, safe and happy. This is my ultimate act of self-love and self-care .”
If you are a NARP member, set this Goal in the Bonus Goal Setting Module:
“I turn within with love, devotion and power to release my Inner Being from darkness and replace where those wounds were with Light. I am shifting more and more into my True Self.”
Growth Next
Time does not heal the wounds of narcissistic abuse victims. This is not a normal loss or grief – it has caused a disturbing infiltration, shock and distortion of your Inner Identity.
You can choose to go through something as horrific as toxic abuse or grow through it.
The Thriver model of recovery here at MTE is about the latter.
I remember years ago, one of my NARP Members said, “Melanie, I was so upset when my counsellor said, ‘there was no reason you went through this. It could happen to anyone.’ But I wanted a REASON. Not to blame me, but so there was something I could heal, develop or work towards – for what I went through to have MEANING. When I found you, I knew I had found what I was looking for.”
She’s right. If there is no meaning or growth for us, then we are helpless victims, with nothing we can do for ourselves to evolve and rise from this experience. There is also nothing we can heal to protect ourselves in the future.
Growth is all about moving into your True Self.
The Self who can dissolve the abuse symptoms, evolve, become whole, confident, set boundaries and arise as authentic and able to create much healthier, more prosperous partnerships with others and life.
Information is not transformation; transformation is the inner work. I, and many others here, do this with NARP. Healing into your True Self is not a timeline, it’s an inner state. It’s determined by the composition of your Inner Being – primarily how much trauma you have let go of from within and how much you are choosing, connecting to and growing into your Higher Self (which is your True Self).
I acknowledge the Thriver Model of ‘growth’ is not for everyone. For people who wish to remain victimised – blaming themselves and others for what happened in their life and not wanting to self-reflect and do the inner work to heal – I respect that. I understand it because I was there for years. Yet it nearly killed me. If I had not chosen the Thriver Path of support, emotions first and growth, I would not be alive today, much less Thriving.
The growth path shifts you from victim to survivor to Thriver, emerging with more self-love, self-worth, confidence, capacity, greater boundary function, authenticity and power to create a spectacular life. Not despite what happened to you but because of it.
You would never have needed to do this inner work without this time of personal catharsis.
‘Life can no longer go on as normal.’
A powerful ‘growth’ mantra is:
“All of my experiences are happening for me and not to me. I recognise that there is the gift of growth in every experience, and me accepting and taking on that growth delivers me to the life of my dreams.”
If you are a NARP member, set this Goal in the Bonus Goal Setting Module,
“I let go of my experiences that hurt, to receive the Light of growth and transformation and the deliverance of my True Self, which enters me and flows through me as me.”
Living Forward
As a Thriver – creating and carving out your True Self – you begin to realise your True Life is honesty, power and authenticity.
It’s the ability to become an adult in our skin, speaking the truth. Saying “No” when we mean no. Laying boundaries, having difficult conversations, and being vulnerable and real. Speaking up when necessary and making decisions that are in alignment with wholesome truth and care for ourselves, regardless of what other people are or aren’t doing.
The empowerment of your True Self coming on line can’t be faked. It won’t hold, be real, be respected or create real relationships when trying to ‘do these things’ from a wounded inner core.
This is why all of the steps previous to living forward are necessary for it to have real results in your life.
I think the most beautiful aspect of Living Forward is being able to trust your intuition – your inner GPS – because of living in alignment with integrity, rather than heeding the small, needy, traumatised voice which takes you into even more experiences that lead to more trauma.
This is Thriving: it is the way we were always supposed to live as our True Self – starting to be guided and expanded by our Higher Self alignments.
There is NO arriving. Our True Self IS this journey – with you always growing into MORE of this.
Make sense?
In Conclusion
I hope today’s article has simplified things for you.
I promise you with all of my heart that if you get these states RIGHT then all of the details start to look after themselves.
Because you are IN integrity.
You receive and follow the guidance.
You can say “no” now.
The details – that our over-active minds want to work out NOW and persuade us is impossible – all start to unfold healthily and organically, and your life will start to work.
That’s what happens as a True Self living a True Life. But you need to become – from the inside – the generative force of this.
Let me know in the comments below how this article feels for you!
Thank you so much, I have gained so much help through the NARP program so far and reading articles. I have been growing over the past 10 years as I did jump the ship back then. It has been a battle of narcissistic people in my life – each falling away slowly due to my growth. I am so grateful to heal from within and knowing the correlation in my childhood and adult life traumas and how those have held me in abusive relationships. I am learning to understand my worth and to not allow others to take that away from me based on their approval of me. I am the light and want to be the light to others in this world. God bless!
Hi Sandy,
you are very welcome 🙂
I aodre that you are healing within, and that you are embracig your worth.
Yaya you being the Light!
So much love to you and sending you many continued blessings!
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Dear Melanie!
Thank you so much for this wonderful article and soooo needed advice. 🦋
Several days ago, I was required to sign my “ending my marriage papers“…. even though this has been looming for the past 5 1/2 years, I was still numbed by the experience.
And, of course, my mind took over depriving my emotional center and lil’ Peter from helping me along with everything. Sadly I completely forgot about lil’ Peter as I went through this really horrible stuff….
It was all so scary!!!
However, as I believe so fervently in NARP I KNOW that in the long run, I will grow, hopefully spiritually, from this, and these horrific live altering experiences I’ve been through.
There is, for certain, a sense of relief, but I know that I am still psychically tangled with the narcissist. Just signing a few papers, which, in itself was a horrifying experience, is not enough.
Right now I do feel like I am in a survival mode. It’s quite similar to when my children unexpectedly died. I wondered then how could I continue living without them?
Although with this current situation, I prepared for diligently and it was expected, I am not doing very well with it. In preparation I did the modules and listened to you and others about how to survive and live with the consequences and ramifications of past abuse and what to expect when a marriage ends….
The progressions that you used here today , from stage to stage, are brilliant and give me significant guidance. I do believe that I will grow from these horrible things that have happened and I believe for certain that I have, somewhat, already. But, oh my gosh, it’s overwhelming!
As Gloria Gaynor said “I will survive“! My emotional center must learn to function independently and I need to control my thinking center more so I don’t run off the rails with too much thinking about everything….
And, you are so, right, Melanie! I need to grow THROUGH all of this, and maybe a different type of healing will actually take place for me. The memories of years of abuse, it seems , might never go away…. some were very severe, and seem to be indelibly implanted somewhere in my psyche and as of now they are still there. But, your message today really gives me some hope this crappy stuff will eventually disappear and disintegrate….
It’s been a rough couple of weeks, but when I saw your new blog, I was so excited to find out what you had to say to us….for me your message was perfect! 🌟 . Thank you so much Melanie! So much love! 💞
❤️🦋❤️
Hi Peter,
thank you for your thoughtful post.
With all my love I am always sending you the message – “less thinking more shifting” (with NARP) It is true that you will always have the memory, but when there is no emotional charge on it whatsoever, its because there is no longer any matching trauma on the inside.
That is freedom to move on, and zero requirement to keep revisiting it – because its resolved.
Our mind (thinking, talking, reseraching, positing simply doesnt have the ability to bring our inner traumas to that place … its only the inner somatic work that does – there are other bodt healing modailites, but for me NARP is my absolute fave.
The inner work in the Modules in NOT hard, the hard part is making the choice to not indulge in ruminating and just go do a Module healing on it instead.
I re-created a new Masterclass recording just recently – (coming out soon) which askes the question “what percentage of your day do you think about the painful person / expereinces?” The next question “What percentage of your day does that leave you turn inwards and heal?”
That is your real healing potential right there.
So much love to you Peter
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Dear Melanie!
First of all, I want to thank you for your wonderful comment! 🕊 Secondly, I hope to be able to participate in the master class! 🦋
I know I think about what happened with the narcissist and ruminate and go over everything way way way way too much STILL at this point. Although when I engage with intentional efforts to be “present” in my daily responsibilities and normal activities I find that to be less and less….yet, it’s not enough….
Probably my greatest failure is not using the modules enough. I know they are such amazing sources of guidance and I do know that they can help me through just about any scenario I may encounter when it comes to managing and hopefully healing.from, specifically, narcissistic abuse….
Although I see an incredible parallel to some of the studies, particularly Eastern philosophies and religions, that I have engaged in, to NARP…. the truth is these practices and efforts I make often leave me unfulfilled and kind of lost when it comes to my personal management of the consequences of the years of abuse I went through.
There may be some references to “shifting out“ and replacing the void with light, but there is nothing that I have found anywhere on this earth that gives me the guidance that your work and the modules do…. specifically, when it comes to healing and recovery from repeated abuse from a narcissist.
So, as you have patiently, persistently, thankfully explained to me, many many times now, and reiterated often, saying “Peter, you need to stop thinking so much, and start shifting!”….
Well, one day, Melanie, I will be able to tell you that I’m doing that all the time….🙏 on that day, I so believe and hope I will be free and unencumbered from my thinking mind and hopefully will live in the Light that we all so deserve….🌟
You know, I so appreciate it when you take your valuable time to make such a comprehensive and complete response to me…. I am so so so thankful, Melanie, for that!
Thanks so much and I really hope I can be there for the master class revisited. Sending lots of love, and so much gratitude, Melanie, to you! 💞
❤️🦋❤️
Hi Peter,
its my pleasure, as always Dear Man.
When you do start Modulling instead … the healing accelaration will begin.
Groundhog day will breakthrough into your personal harvest.
You ARE worth it!
Mel 🙏💞🦋
I agree with all the article has to say but I cannot afford the program. Thank you for all the free info. that you put out. God bless everyone. May we all be healed.
Hi Mary,
you are very welcome.
Thank you for your love and blessings to all.
And please feel our love and healing vibes being sent to you
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Hi Mel,
I have been doing EMDR for 2.5 years now and am still finding that even though the unconscious trauma has been brought up and I am getting relief – I don’t think it’s healing the peptide addiction and trauma bonds that I actually have let alone the epigenetic trauma. I have been listening to some of your live sessions it’s starting to sink in a lot you have done your research lady very deeply and I don’t know how long it must have taken you to understand what this is really about. I am finding the EMDR sessions expensive and want to know would your program help me and if I should drop my therapy with no discredit to my therapist as she is wonderful no disowning her at all. I have tried many other practical ways like EFT, tapping, astrology, mindfulness and some inner child work to no avail.
Hi Aurora,
I highly recommend you to go through NARP healing. You do not need live sessions to feel better. I have done ” only” NARP from recordings and it works perfectly. I can’ t express how much it helped me. God bless you, you will do better, believe <3
Hi Aurora,
Im very sorry I didnt answer you earlier, as I have been very busy with a big MTE project!
Please know yes I do understand the depth of the trauma, and how difficult it is to get past it.
I personally, as well as many of the NARP Members, discovered the Healings to be much more powerful than EMDR, and are specifically dedicated to healing from Narcissistic Abuse and Toxic Relationships. Many of us, were like you, we had TRIED so many things to get well, and spent a great deal of money, time and effort doing so.
NARP http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp , humbly, is my absolute number 1 suggestion. So much comes with NARP as well as the actual Program (which works to heal like nothing else) as well as our unlimited support to you – and its costs less than usually 3 sessions of therapy with a money back guarantee.
There is zero downside to start working with NARP.
I hope that this helps
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Hi, Walked away from a physical and verbally abusive relationship of about 4 years, trying to heal has been 4 weeks now, and then a post comes through with a photo of my ex boyfriend sitting next to his new girlfriend who is wearing an engagement ring. As you can imagine that was a surprise. Any advice, trying not to let it affect my healing process.
Hi Maureen,
that is very painful and my heart goes out to you.
The True Healing process is about fully feeling and then releasing and programming all the traumas that arise, including that very painful one – there is no bypass from them, otherwise they stay in your emotional field and will kepp sabotaging you.
That trigger IS your healing path.
NARP http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp and our loving support with NARP in the Member’s Forum take you through this process http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member
The only way out is through, because what you resist healing will persist. Out the other side of this,a nd whatever arises, is your freeedom, liberation and moving out into trajectories of relationships where you will not need to live through that painful program again.
I hope that this makes sense.
Mel 🙏💞🦋
I cannot thank you enough for making your wisdom, experience and healin available to all of us determined to walk the path of healing after narcissistic abuse. Your words capture the experience perfectly, and your guidance for healing rings true in my soul. Jumping ship over here: I am worth it.
Hi Lisa,
thank you for your kind words and please know how welcome you are.
I LOVE that you know you are worth it.
Mel 🙏💞🦋
So … Like Peter, I too am in the process but not really being completely Transformed b/c I still think way too much also and do not release, heal, and Stop thinking and ruminating. So once the healing really happens then you really WILL be Transformed & Healed & be able to Move One, yes??? First my own husband passed on, and I am grieving & moving on & grieving, and Then this other one came back into my life, & I was hooked and then he abruptly left to heal himself, and it all happened in the past 3 months… I was left all alone to figure all this out. So I turned to NARP and did the work, and some of it truly helped, but I’ve still found my Self way too upset, getting stuck, ruminating, and not healing. My ??s are Which Modules should i be doing now? both for my marriage that “ended” b/c of death and now b/c of a death to this possibility of a new relationship that “abruptly ended” ? I am again overwhelmed. stuck. and now getting depressed. I find i am unable to move on. so What i hear now from Melanie is that i need to go do a Module. Which one Mel? Everything you say here I do resonate with … but i need to be COMPLETLEY free. Thank you ~ Love & hugs!
Hi Zinetta,
YES, yes and YES!
You poor thing my heart goes out to you, you have gone through so much.
If you meet the inner trauma, release it and replace it with Light (The NARP process http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp ) then it heals and there is no remaining trauma to think about.
Even extreme trauma … ANY trauma.
The process is SO simple – but what is difficult is bypassing the egoic mind that is the internal narcissist that doesnt want us to do this – that wants your trauma pain body to keep feeding off, and it gives you EVERY excuse to not just DO it.
When we have had enough of the pain, we have to become the adult in the room that says “Oky Im hurting / funcky / triggered and things aren’t good for me, and my life is not how I want it to be, so Im going to go heal!” QFH in NARP is the most powerful and easy and direct way I’ve ever experienced to do this.
Thank goodness in my own life, I use the healings instead of ruminating and staying stuck and when I do indulge my victimisation, (rarely) I know the drastic painful difference.
Module 1 is the go to for you … and also being in the NARP Member’s Forum for guidance – but do know also lovingly you will be held to account – we cant help you unlless you DO the healings and help yourself. No-one can take the pain away for you, that is between you and you and the healings, we can only grant you suggestions.
Module 1 absolutely gets the process started and then it is about reworking through the entire 10 step program, as per the instructions and with the guidance in the Forum as well when required. Rule of thumb if you do a Module morning and night for 21 days, your SELF will feel epically different in only 3 Weeks.
The only question is, will you commit to yourself at this level?
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Wow. Once again your loving words and wisdom are exactly what I need to hear. Truthfully I am not even through the article and already doing goal setting and preparing for my next shifting session. So exciting to be healing and finding so much inner work to do. Love it.
Thanks beautiful person for all you do and all you are.
Thank you Dr Sheryl,
Yes it is a time indeed of LOTS of shifting to do ..
For so many.
Much Love
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Mel,
I hope that I am not misunderstood but I have to ask the question. Tell me you’re not a computer or generated AI version AI thank you the today that seems to be the biggest problem is not knowing where reality is that you do have a good advice you I think you’re also very very charming to look at, if you weren’t in Australia, I’d take a hike to the but I think you gotta cross a lot of water from here .like guessing 12000 miles Tom
I am attracting narcissists and you say it is about me? I just don’t understand the dynamic. Every time I get abused by a narc it is upsetting, frustrating, makes me angry.. because these people have no conscience. I just lost over $1,000 due to the last one. My dog warmed me ,(he attacked him) and my instincts told me something was off here but I ignored all the signs and fell into it anyway. I was tortured for 2 weeks and two days before he stole all my money and ran off with it. The police would do nothing…band I won’t throw away more money fighting. I am a giving, loving person.. an empath.. and I am sick and tired of dealing with these sick people. I had a narcissist mother. She has stolen from me too. I love in a van now because the Marc’s took everything from me. And you tell me the problem is me? Who do I have to Beto make this stop? I hate these people. I want to kill every last one of these evil demons. They take no responsibility and have no heart. I live in isolation. They have convinced everyone I am evil when the opposite is true. I have lived 10 years alone, wandering, trying to find a way to stop this abuse. Nothing works. I am now a candidate for suicide because I refuse to suffer this anymore
I am attracting narcissists and you say it is about me? I just don’t understand the dynamic. Every time I get abused by a narc it is upsetting, frustrating, makes me angry.. because these people have no conscience. I just lost over $1,000 due to the last one. My dog warned me ,(he attacked him) and my instincts told me something was off here but I ignored all the signs and fell into it anyway. I was tortured for 2 weeks and two days before he stole all my money and ran off with it. The police would do nothing…and I won’t throw away more money fighting. I am a giving, loving person.. an empath.. and I am sick and tired of dealing with these sick people. I had a narcissist mother. She has stolen from me too. I live in a van now because the narc’s took everything from me. And you tell me the problem is me? Who do I have to be to make this stop? I hate these people. I want to kill every last one of these evil demons. They take no responsibility and have no heart. I live in isolation. They have convinced everyone I am evil when the opposite is true. I have lived 10 years alone, wandering, trying to find a way to stop this abuse. Nothing works. I am now a candidate for suicide because I refuse to suffer this anymore. How do I make it stop? I just want peace.