Being parented by a narcissist usually leads to significant struggles as an adult and you may be dealing with them right now.
It is likely that you never had healthy love or relationships modeled for you and that you have suffered all sorts of mistreatment or abuse regularly, probably since birth.
That is the tough reality for many in this Community that have had to endure a narcissistic mother or father.
I’ve heard hundreds of different, awful stories of horrible and traumatic childhood experiences and they break my heart!
In this Thriver TV episode I will talk about the many significant issues you may be facing as an adult after being parented by a malignant narcissist … but there is good news so listen for it in my video.
Video Transcript
In today’s episode, we’re going to be covering why it may seem that after being parented by a narcissist, you can’t heal as effectively as somebody who wasn’t.
We’re going to look at the particular issues that you may be struggling with as an adult after being parented by a narcissist, and how it is totally possible to heal, even if abuse is all you have ever known and if you have never had healthy love or relationships modeled for you.
I’m so excited to share all of that with you. But before we get started, remember to hit the subscribe button if you haven’t already, and like this video if it resonates with you.
The Seeming Deficit Of Being Parented By A Narcissist
I want to talk to you about the seeming deficit of being parented by a narcissist. And I just want to say my heart goes out to you. I wasn’t parented by a malignant narcissist, but I’ve worked with many clients over the last 10 plus years that have, and I just want to normalize it for all of us, there are lots of us that may have been parented by unconscious or co-dependent parents, as well as narcissists.
And the thing is if we have never known healthily how to integrate with ourselves and how to grow up from being ‘out of sourcing’ – needing love, approval and survival and security from outside of ourselves – to be a healthy source of that for ourselves, then we are compromised as adults, all of us.
I’m going to talk about this. And I know that a lot of you who have been parented by narcissists, absolutely you never had a chance to know what is healthy. And instead, you have suffered all sorts of things regularly, probably since birth.
For example, invalidation – not being heard, not being seen, not being important. Things like inconsistency and instability, which means that one minute you may have had this parent being fawning and loving and all over you, and then the next they’re punishing you, they’re rejecting you, they’re pushing you away. So, you didn’t know whether you were coming or going.
Also too, what can be common with a narcissistic parent is exploitation, which means that they’re using you as an extension of themselves. They may be parading you or using you for their own acclaim and their own narcissistic supply.
Manipulation is another thing that you will have suffered. Things like being guilted, being made to feel bad or small or wrong to get them to do the bidding for them, using you for their own agendas.
Neglect, of course, emotional at the very, very least. Not meeting your needs emotionally, that you may have suffered even on practical, physical levels as well.
I know that I’ve had clients tell me things and members of the community tell me things like as a five year old, they were having to go next door to try and get food for them and their siblings because the narcissistic parent didn’t come home or was drunk. It was all about them. And those kinds of things are horrible.
Superficiality is another thing that narcissists do, we all know the expression ‘street angel, home devil’, making out that it’s all about appearances and everything’s perfect, and you have to appear perfect to other people.
Superficiality is very, very damaging because you’re being objectified. You’re treated as an object instead of a real person.
And of course, control. Narcissism is all about control. It’s about stripping you of your rights so that the narcissist gets their own agendas fulfilled. This is going to leave you feeling terribly wounded, maybe to the point where you might feel so defective or there’s so many wounds, you may believe, “I can’t heal”.
The Issues As An Adult After Being Parented By A Narcissist
Before we get to the good news, I want to talk to you about the issues as an adult, after being parented by a narcissist, what’s that going to cause for you growing up and going forward into future relationships as an adult, the repeat of these patterns.
After being invalidated by a narcissistic parent, you may feel invisible, that you don’t have a voice, that your rights – you may not even know what your rights are because they were so unimportant.
Maybe you’re the type of person who sits back and lets other people take up space. You’re the one that feels like when you say something, people don’t hear you, they don’t value you. And really do you even know what your values and your rights and your needs are?
Boundaries are going to be very, very difficult, to speak up and to hold the position of your truth and health and rights. Because you’ve suffered inconsistent and instability, you’re not going to feel safe in your own body.
It’s going to be very normal for you to feel anxious, especially around other people. You may try to read other people. Who do I have to be to not set them off and keep them happy?
This is a thing that when we’re empaths and we’re in a wounded empath model, we’re trying to read everybody else and trying to appease them in order to stay safe. That means you’re going to hand power away.
Now, because you’ve suffered exploitation, which means being paraded, or used as an extension for the narcissist’s ego and false self, you may only know conditional love. So, you will be stuck in the belief, “I’m only worth what I can produce. I’m only as good as my accomplishments.” Which means that you’re going to be really hard on yourself too. You’re going to be really critical. You’re going to critique yourself and put harsh expectations on yourself often.
Now, because you’ve suffered manipulation and you’ve been made to feel guilty so that you do the narcissist’s biddings, this sets you up as a scapegoat. You’re going to feel intense shame. You’re going to be the person that if somebody bumps into you or does something to you, you’re going to say sorry, you’re going to feel like the wrong one.
Now, if you suffered neglect, emotional and or physical and practical, hey, you are going to believe my life is up to me. I don’t receive support. I’m the one that has to do everything for myself. So, you’re not going to let other people in to your life and in to your space to trust them. Because your belief is going to be, “If I let somebody in they’re going to neglect me, they’re going to let me down. They’re going to leave me all on my own.”
The superficiality thing, when a narcissist is parading or creating their family as we’re perfect, there’s nothing wrong with us … we’re keeping up with the Joneses, you may believe that you need to be perfect.
So, you may think people will only accept me if I’m perfect, how I look, how I behave, how I am. And you may be very drawn to getting with people in your life that objectify you, either physically or for what you create, because you’re not going to feel like a blood and flesh human being who can be loved for yourself.
And because you’ve experienced control in your life, you may feel really obligated to others. You’re going to be hooked into catering for others instead of being able to map out and generate your own life in healthy ways.
So, of course it stands to reason that if you’ve been compromised as a child, by a narcissistic parent, and I will also say an unavailable or a co-dependent parent or a very unconscious parent, even if they’re not malicious, all of these things can stand.
True Healing And Recovery Is Possible After Being Narcissistically Parented
I want to now talk to you about true healing and recovery is possible after being narcissistically parented. This is the good news and how I can say this with conviction is because over the last 10 plus years, I have seen literally thousands of people recover and become whole, even if narcissistic abuse, or unconscious or co-dependent parenting, is all they’ve ever known.
And I can say that with confidence, with even the most disgraceful, just awful circumstances that I’ve known about, including as I was saying about that five year old, I could tell you hundreds of different, awful stories where I’ve seen full recoveries.
The reason why this is possible, and the reason why it’s possible with Quantum-focused healing is because this is what I not only just believe, it’s what I know, that without our trauma, we are organically wise, powerful, whole and healthily connected beings. That’s our organic natural state.
Okay, so if we have a look at the seven wounds that we’ve already talked about and how they can be reprogrammed.
Starting off with invalidation, where you felt invisible, these are beliefs in your subconscious programming, which is – I’m not important, I’m not valid, people don’t listen to me, I don’t have a voice.
And we have the way, which is so exciting, with Quantum Freedom Healing, targeted healing, which is what the NARP Program is, that you’re able to feel in your body, load up, release and connect back to your organic true self. That’s the re-programming that happens directly in your somatic body, in your subconscious programming, which then means that you will no longer have the fears of – I’m going to be criticized, rejected, abandoned, or punished for being myself.
Then your boundaries come back online. You can step into your power.
In regard to inconsistency and instability, the beliefs that are stuck in your subconscious programs is – it’s not safe to be in my body. It’s not safe. People aren’t safe. And again, you can target those beliefs directly, load them up somatically, release them, bring in your true organic self, which heals and resets you back to who you really are. And then you’re in your body without going through all those detachment feelings and not knowing how to navigate your own life. Again, that gives you your power back.
With exploitation, and they are the feelings of conditional love, that I’m only worthy of my accomplishments or how other people see me, rather than I unconditionally love and accept myself for me and other people do too. Those are limiting beliefs that need to be reprogrammed.
And when they’re reprogrammed, you will see such a shift in how you feel about yourself and what you can generate with other people. And people that are only about objectifying you, you won’t want them in your life. You really won’t.
So, the manipulation that you’ve experienced, which means that I feel guilty, I’m scapegoated, I feel really shameful and wrong. Those are such painful feelings in your body. And again, with Quantum tools, you’re able to load them up, release them out of your subconscious cellularly, bring in your true organic, true self, which is who you are without that junk. And you will lose the guilt and the shame, and then you will not be susceptible to being manipulated anymore.
So, with neglect, these are the feelings of – I have to do it all myself, I’m burdened, I’m suffering aloneness, I can’t trust anybody, I can’t connect with people because they’re going to let me down and hurt me. They’re all limiting beliefs, they’re all really painful traumas.
Again, they can be reprogrammed. And could you imagine what that changes in your life when you’re able to attract and sustain relationships with people that can support you and you can have mutuality of giving and receiving, and know how to identify your rights and truths and speak out for them and have them met? It changes everything.
And the superficiality, releasing those traumas of – I have to be perfect, it’s only about how other people see me. It’s so much of those beliefs about my life depends on how other people see me and what they think of me, rather than – I am free to generate life regarding how I believe and see myself.
And control and no longer being caught up in the power struggles of control because you are now whole and in control of yourself. The great news is, that because we have a way to be able to reprogram the limiting, subconscious, painful, traumatic programs into a much higher organic wholeness and truth, means that we can shift and we can shift really, really powerfully.
And that’s what I love introducing people to in this community, knowing there is another way, there is a better way to heal, and because you’ve been abused or neglected as a child does not mean that you have a life sentence of trauma and painful relationships. That’s not what your life was meant to be about, I promise you.
Conclusion
So, I hope that you found that helpful, and more than that, I hope that you found this hopeful. And what I would love you to do, to take this further now, is to check out my quiz, which is The 11 Telltale Signs of a Narcissist, and this is going to help you identify what level of parental narcissism, or if you’re watching this video and it’s not about a parent, any level of narcissism from any narcissist at all.
And then, what it’s going to hook you up with is the resources of have a free 7 day information series, which is going to be specific for your situation, to help you. I can’t wait to help you with this and let you know there is a way up and out of this pain and into your freedom and your power.
So, remember to like this video, if it’s helped then share it with somebody who you know may have suffered from a narcissistic parent, so that you can help them heal for real as well. I am looking forward to your comments and your questions below.
Melanie, once again you have touched on issues that I have never fully acknowledged. I was raised by 2 Narcissistic parents and experienced feelings of shame, guilt, insecurity, anxiety, unsafe in my own body and no personal boundaries. I’ve often wondered why I didnt have career or personal goals as I was growing up. It seemed like daily survival took up all my energy and to think about my future was selfish. Thank you so much for addressing this subject. Being able to shine a light on this form of abuse and having a way to up level the trauma has given me so much hope.
Hi Sheila,
I’m so pleased that this has helped bring clarity to you.
I love that you feel hope now!
Much love to you and wishing you wonderful healing
Mel 🙏💕💚
Melanie, thank you for this. I see many truths in what you are saying and hope for a better future for all of us in this. That said, I am in an interesting situation where children being parented by a narcissistic parent are also developing narcissistic traits to varying degrees (which can happen). The children echo many of the same patterns to varying degrees, including from a young age learning that lying, manipulation, and keeping secrets are acceptable if it gets what they want without causing waves. They’ve actually said this to me, as justification for how they’ve treated others. Another pattern they’ve shown is to assume control of others and believe they are entitled to control others to meet their own needs. In other words, I’ve seen these children behave in ways that, when they want to get their needs met or request something from someone, show they believe the only way to get the result they want (which they feel entitled to) is to become the dominant person and fight in any way (fair or otherwise) that will achieve the result. It becomes second nature to them to engage in these sorts of behaviours, and they don’t know they’re doing it. Another thing these children have expressed to me is that a high conflict relationship with what I call “relationship warfare” is normal and natural and part of every truly loving relationship; the kids believe that anyone who says differently is lying and keeping that part of their relationships secret. On the flip side, there are many lovely qualities to these children, as well, which makes it more confusing because they can be thoughtful, generous, and creative at the same time as they have learned these patterns of relating with people who are close to them. I value your insights tremendously and would love to hear your input on how to move forward in healthy ways given this mixed bag of impacts (both what you have indicated in this video and when mixed with narcissistic traits). Thank you.
I wanted to add as well that these children are complex and exhibit some of the low self esteem characteristics described in your video (self-critical in some ways; attempting to read others to be safe; trying to appease the narcissistic parent to experience conditional love) while also exhibiting some of the high conflict narcissistic traits of domination, control, manipulation, lying, and hurting others. Additionally, these children have been alienated from their other parent and brainwashed to the extend that they would view this other parent, who is the victim of parental alienation and narcissistic abuse, as being the actual narcissistic parent. This is real and not being made up. I would truly value you insight on how to move forward to healthier ground with these complex children.
That’s my young adult children to a T. The utter craziness of it is out there. Would love Mel’s input too.
Hi Jesse,
it’s my pleasure.
What you are experiencing with these children is really common in the coparenting landscape.
I’d love you to research my name plus the topics “parallel parenting” and “our children”. These can help you a lot. Also, in this community, the most successful parallel parents are NARP http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp members.
NARP allows you to release triggers, create powerful loving boundaries and be able to even help your children heal by proxy, in effective and fasttrack ways.
Maybe do some research in regard to the wonderful results that parents have had in their coparenting experiences as a result of working with NARP.
I hope that these resources can help you much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
Melanie once again you are so explicit and easy to understand, when you describe parenting by a narcissistic parent. With a n mother and a very toxic codependent possible narcissistic father, I find myself even after 3 years of Narps I have come full circle. It is like you are describing my childhood and then when I married quite young the FIL was a malignant n and MIL a seemingly charming n.
This has continued since my childhood and although coming to Narps very late, I am finding out “the truth” of the toxic environment, I have attracted. Recently the n MIL has moved away and the relief is enormous, but her time living near us gave me the opportunity to discover and heal a lot of the effects of having n FOO in-laws. I am always a work in progress, and use Narps regularly to uplevel. This is simply a brilliant article that needs to be shared. Your communication is so clear and concise Melanie. I bless the day I found you dear Lady, the forum and Narps. Much love xox
Hi Renee,
I am so thrilled that you are NARPing and able to keep healing, navigate and stay in your power.
You are doing a wonderful job and thank you for your beautiful comment here!
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
It’s both painful and freeing listening to this. It’s only because of the work that I’ve done through NARP that I’ve come into the full realization that I was raised by a narcissistic mother. She wasn’t the malicious narcissist that the father of my child is, but I definitely experienced the invalidation, emotional neglect, the guilting and manipulation, projection and cognitive dissonance from when she seemed phony (or superficial to me.) And the control – OMG the controlling, overbearing mother who didn’t ask to see my report card for YEARS, but had the audacity to be upset that I graduated with a C average (not because I wasn’t smart but because she didn’t care!) In adulthood I made so many excuses for her not realizing how I was an apologizing for the harm she caused me! It’s incredible how narcissists can turn you on yourself.
You always manage to capture so thoroughly the experiences of survivors of this specific form of abuse. I really find your ability to do that amazing! One thing – you mentioned a quiz of 11 questions to determine your level of abuse. Where can I find that?
Hi Roman,
absolutely narcissists do turn you on yourself (and often others!)
I’m glad that this video resonated with you.
The quiz link is this https://melanietoniaevans.com/quiz
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
Oh yeah, the narc parent never took an interest or responsibility in his kids from either relationships with different moms unless they started to seem “cool” or doing something awesome he thought reminded him of himself. I took my daughter to most of her choir practices and performances as did her grandmother. I’ve been called a stage mom for showing up for my kids even when it wasn’t fun or easy or required travel after a long day at work or I was too tired. Some parents just like to make an appearance once in a while like they’re rock stars ready to be adored and obsessed over by their kids. It sounds funny but it’s unbelievably cruel and would just lead to them blowing up in an abusive tantrum if you say anything or have expectations for more parental behavior.
My 90 yr old father died last weekend. I know he was a narcissist but he had some qualities that were consistently good and I loved him. He was usually a pleasant man and had a nice smile. He was cnsistently “there” for me when I was growing up, helping me with school work, going to my athletic games, etc. He was also controlling, he got mad when his ego was threatened, he was not faithful to my mother, i learned later on, and he was self absorbed and it was his agenda we followed. He was not as bad as my mother who was a malignant narcissist. Anyway, when i learned he was a narcissist aboutv10 years ago, I Ibecame really angry with his narcisdistic qualities. He could be very nice to me and I was mean back. I feel terrrible about this now. I did help him a lot, he was in a nursing home for 4vyrs after a fall when my mother died. If he needed anything, I would be there for him. But he often “got on my nerves” now, just knowing and not liking the qualities. I feel terrible about this, now. I am not a mean person but i was mean to him several times. When he was dying, I imagined how vulnerable he must of felt at the nursing home but he never complained. I cannot believe I treated him as I did; lashing out at him, telling him he needed to try harder to do things on his own, caustic connents. I feel sick to my stomach about it all. It was from anger inside, even when hr was being very nice to me. Before he died, he told me he loved me dearly. This is what he always told me. I cannot explain my behavior and feel l i cannot live with myself now. Thank you .
Janet, I just read your post. To be honest and no offence intended, I think that you are being very hard on yourself. I am not clear if you have learned that your dad was a co-dependant narcissist, and you don’t elaborate on how he related to your mother, but remember that narcissists are absolutely aware of their behaviour and choose to abuse or enable to abuse their children, and this is very serious indeed. I am a child of narcissists and yes, I know that they had to deal with many issues in their own lives,but it does not excuse their behaviour towards me. You “woke up” to your dad’s personality disorder and just had enough. Fine! Believe me, no talk or discussion would have made him mend his ways. You are only human. Now you can work on freeing yourself, and you really have an incredible life ahead of you. Enjoy!
Hi Janet,
much condolences and love regarding the passing of your father.
Dear lady, please know that we have all been hard on those we love. It’s completely human and normal! Just as your father himself was hard on those that he loved at times.
Janet, I would love you to come into my free webinar http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar to go through a healing process where you can let those painful, guilty feelings go and live free from them.
How does that sound? Is that something that you would like to experience?
Because if it is I can help you find peace, healing and relief from this.
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
I’ve been severely abused by my family and felt completely j visible since I was a kid, suffered multiple nervous breakdowns and gave my power away to the extreme all alone for 39 years 🙁
Hi Dominic,
I really want you to know Dear Man that it is possible to heal from this.
I’d love you to come into my free webinar http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/free webinar to discover how to experience peace, relief and true healing.
I hope this helps
Mel 🙏💕💚
Dear Mel,
I was devalued right from birth, from the day I was born. Literally. From then on I experienced serious abuse from my mother (physical and non-physical) for all my childhood and thereafter.
I believe I can truely state “Abuse was all I have ever known”.
I am deep in my healing journey now. I use NARP very regularly. Thanks to NARP I will recover from this completely, I can feel its true. I have made huge progress in the past months. It really really works. I will completely recover from this, I can feel it in my whole beingness.
Thanks for this highly powerful episode.
I am grateful to you from the bottom of my heard!
Lots of love
A.
Hi A,
I am so thrilled for you that you are NARPing and are feeling the profound healing results.
So much love and continued blessings to you.
Mel 🙏💕💚
Thank you Melanie ,
All very accurate .
It’s my pleasure Suzanne and I am so pleased that this could help!
Mel 🙏💕💚
Where is the ” Like Video icon ?”
Hi Suzanne it should be just under the actual video on YouTube.
Mel 🙏💕💚
Hi Melanie
Thanks so much for doing this video. It brings much awareness in a topic very painful and taboo in our contemporary societies.
I was raised by both narcissistic parents, and my three siblings are narcissists too in different degree (there is narcissism in the two family blood lines, feminine and masculine). I just took the 11 signs quiz and it was 100% positive for the members of this family, I really think that all of them have NPD, narcissistic personality disorder. So I totally related with every wound that you talk about clearly in the video. I believe that I am the only one no narcissist in this biological family, but a compassionate empath, and because of this I became a “scapegoat” to these narcissists.
NARP program has helped me very much in overcoming the trauma, that then has been repeated also outside of the family context.
But still I feel quite overwhelmed about the abuse and consequences of it from the narcissistic family. Quite often seems impossible for me to overcome it and be free of it and its trauma.
You mention in the video that every wound creates certain painful limiting beliefs. I am wondering what would be the best strategy to follow for the healing from a narcissistic family: Targeting with NARP separately each of the mentioned wounds with its characteristic beliefs associated?
Thanks so much for your answer in advance.
Love and blessings,
Sonia
Hi Sonia,
you are most welcome and I’m pleased that this helps.
Sonia, honey I would really love you to come into the NARP members forum http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member where we can specifically support and help you with this. Are you a gold NARP member? If not then please contact one of my lovely support team at [email protected] so that they can connect you up with the forum.
This blog forum is not really designed for the privacy and the deep interaction that could necessitate.
I hope that this helps and much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
I took this quiz and I actually had 3 sisters a mother and 2 ex’s in mind while I answered and funny thing was I could not answer any one of the questions different with all 6 people in mind. Wonder why? I knew what the result would be but had to hear it from another source.
Hi Mollie,
Narcissism often does present in very specific and almost identical ways!
Sending you love and healing.
Mel 🙏💕💚
Thank you, Mel, for addressing this issue. I grew up with a narcissistic alcoholic father, and all of what you’ve so aptly described here applies.
What’s been sad for me is to discover, in my late 50s, was how my childhood experience set me up for marrying a narcissist. After growing up as I did, my one big Heart’s Desire in life was to create a healthy, happy family of my own… which I finally managed to achieve in my 40s, only to have it blown to bits when my seemingly kind husband did a 180-degree turn shortly after our daughter was born – and showed his terrible narcissistic side. Its been an intense, 20-year learning curve, with a lot of pain and suffering, including the loss of my daughter due to parental alienation.
It would have helped to know, when I was young, that I was set up to fail by my childhood experience. Now it’s too late to create a family (I’m now 67), and along with healing from both my childhood experience and my ensnarement with a narcissist as an adult , my biggest challenge is dealing with the loss, the anger, and having been cheated out of the one thing I most valued and treasured- a lovely family of my own. I had all the ingredients for success, am a loving and kind, caring and nurturing person, but I didn’t get to safely express or be these things in my little family – because I married a narcissist.
I wonder if you ever think of doing workshops for young people, so they can understand how they may be set up for failure, and deal with the problem early on in life. It’s awful to be set up unawares.
Hi Faye,
you are very welcome.
My heart goes out to you for experiencing so much. Losing a child to alienation is so intensely painful.
Please know Faye many young people who have suffered painful childhoods (many of them) and or painful relationships are seeking answers and healing which is beautiful.
Our world is awakening.
I want you to know Dear Lady, it is so not too late for you to heal and recover an incredible liberation and life.
There have been members in the Thriver Community 70 and 80’s even who have released trauma and gone forward to experience more joy than they had ever previously known.
I would love to introduce you to my free Webinar http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar Which can help you understand how to heal, get relief, and your soul and your life back.
I hope this can help
Mel 🙏💕💚
Thanks Melanie. This has resonated immediately. Need to watch it again I think….thanks again.
Hi Jean-Paul,
I am so pleased that this resonated!
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
This is really helpful, to be honest I never even thought some of these things actually were traumas and beliefs and I thought this is just how life is, I have to cope with it best way I can, especially the being alone and it’s all up to you thing which I felt I had to accept. I have done loads of shifting already but it seems the layers of trauma are stacked deep. Nice to have pointers where to find them though. Thanks Mel. X
Hi Angelique,
I’m so pleased that this was helpful for your healing.
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
Hi Melanie,
What an empowering overview! This is much much muuuuch appreciated!
No wonder I felt overwhelmed by the traumas like an endless thread, when it was not invalidation it was inconsistency, when it was not inconsistency it was exploitation, when it was not exploitation it was manipulation and on and on and on. Thanks to NARP I now understand when a wound is showing up, instead of not being able to even get a grasp about not feeling comfortable and aligned with myself before. However, because the wounds are hidden in my body and appear only when triggered, I would feel all over the place, be it regarding my not holding firm boundaries, or not feeling safe in my body, guilt, shame etc. I am very grateful for this clarification on these seven categories. Seven feels like it is not endless and the explanations for each category with the cause (ex invalidation), the effect (feeling not seen nor heard) and the “version-up” of the defective programme gives an instant and empowering view from above that will help me keep my focus away from the narcissists and faithfully onto myself in an unwavering way. It will also be easier to target those traumas from different angles, whether I feel stuck at the cause level (ex conditional love) or at the effect level (ex boundaries) or whether I want to boost some “version-up”! Thank you so so much.
Sending you love and blessings
Hi LVM,
Gosh you have described the loop of insanity perfectly!
I am so pleased that NARP is helping you so much and that this has provided clarity.
Please, also know that simply doing a Module One healing on any trigger that appears, without even knowing what it is, will take you to the root of and release and reprogram it. Effectively freeing you from it.
In truly is a perfect formula to heal!
I hope that helps.
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
Hey Melanie,
I love your stuff, done your programme & it was amazing – thank you! In fact I loved it so much signed up for the affiliate programme – had two sign ups, didn’t get the commission – oversight I am sure. However what is bugging is that I’ve written in twice now to resolve and there has been no follow through – can we sort this out????
Vicki
Hi Vicki,
I’m so thrilled that you love NARP that much that you wish to promote it.
Please email [email protected] and one of my team will be able to get you through affiliate manager to check out what is going on.
Then it can be rectified.
Much Love to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
I am not receiving the quiz results for 11 telltale signs of a narcissist through my email
Please look into this
Thanks
Jennifer
Hi Jennifer,
please email one of my lovely support team at [email protected] and someone will help sort this out.
Love and blessings to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
Thank you Melanie for another wonderful video! This really resonated with me, as narcissistic abuse is all I have ever known since birth. The inability to feel safe and loved in one’s family of origin is one of the biggest tragedies of humanity, as it betrays our basic biological programming and needs. The “enemy” is supposed to be the saber toothed tiger outside, not the very people we rely on for survival. It’s why this kind of narcissist trauma is so hard to work through, because there was never a foundation of secure attachment. If we can’t trust our own kin, who can we trust?
But as I’ve learned, being a narcissist parent is also at odds with our basic biology. My parents could have treated us a lot worse than they did, or abandoned us altogether, but there was still some faint nurturing instinct that fought against their own unconsciousness. Not to justify anything, but just as another perspective.
My only regret in all this is I didn’t understand how to truly help myself until now, in my 40s. I wasted many years being stuck at the bottom of a paper bag, struggling to find the way out. Your videos and book have helped me see there is another way, thank you!
Chris
How do you heal from adult narcissistic children of narcissistic alcoholic parents?
Hi Jwalk,
the same as all or any of it … you just heal. with processes that really work … for all or any of it.
NARP is the answer http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp
Mel 🙏💕💚
Melanie, you are spot on everything. My ex husband, his parents and all his brother and sisters are narcissist. I don’t want my kids to feed from this but in the times that are with them, they show some signs, how can I control that. They also are british and Chinese Asians and the obsession abt making money is large, no empathy, very cold harsh people, nothing is enough, all abt superficial things and showing off, one minute they fine, another minute they shout to the grandkids. I’m slowly trying to stop contact but the father is around and being affected by them and his ego took over but no chance for him to understand this.