In today’s Thriver TV episode I share my story with you.
If you’ve been following my work for a while you know lots about me, I am very open about the traumatic narcissistic relationships I endured.
But today I take it a bit further and I go deeper into the depths of destruction I was pushed to by these terribly damaging people.
Truly, it almost killed me!
Just like you, I was attacked mercilessly. I was dealt low blows, shocking accusations and the insults came thick and fast. Then it got even worse. You’ve been there too so you know exactly what I’m talking about.
And all the while I still tried insistently to “fix” them.
I urge you to watch this video (or read the transcript) because within it I grant you key takeaways that can shine a huge, big light on why you’ve been trying to fix somebody, the true reasons it hasn’t worked and how you can generate real healthy, safe relationships in your future.
Video Transcript
Before we start this video, I just want to remind you that my upcoming signature 10-week healing Bootcamp, for getting out of the pain of narcissistic abuse and onto the path of Thriving, is coming up soon.
If you’d like to work with me hands-on, up close and personal from the comfort of your own home with powerful information and life-changing Quanta Freedom Healing sessions that are powerful beyond measure, then go to melanietoniaevans.com/thrive.
Spots are limited, and we’re expecting this to sell out soon. The first one did really quickly. This is number two.
Today I want to share with you my story, my humble story about trying to fix the narcissist, because I really tried to. I really want you to know that this episode is for any narcissist in your life, not just a love partner – it could be your family member, or even your child … any narcissist at all.
Also in this video, I’m going to grant you key takeaways that can shine a huge, big light on why you’ve been trying to fix somebody, the true reasons it hasn’t worked and how you can generate real healthy, safe relationships in your future.
My Story
So about me. Like so many of us, I have compassion and empathy and I want to make a difference in other people’s lives. I mean, that’s the life mission that I do now. I have the type of personality that, in my past, I was absolutely naturally drawn to people with issues and then would try to help them.
I used to take in the lame and broken birds on an animal level and also a human level, so it’s really not surprising that even before what I do now, I was a personal coach and a healer for years.
I know so many of you are healers, teachers, caregivers, and people who work in those kinds of industries, or you’re just the go-to person in your social group or your family. You’re empaths as well, and usually, people who are abused by narcissists are really lovely people.
When the narcissist came into my life, I really thought he was my perfect partner. He seemed to be everything I’d always wanted and of course, that’s what I wanted to believe. I projected how wonderful he was onto him.
This is key, and I really want you to park this thought and remember it – I needed him to be loving, honest, kind, attentive, generous and benevolent – which was the picture that I had of him.
Now of course, with a narcissist in your life, any narcissist, you soon discover, or over time as I did, that he was in fact capable of being incredibly cruel, dishonest, abusive, and he was capable of devastating behavior.
Here is the kicker, it’s what I did, and it’s what we all do – we decide we need to change them back to the version that we need them to be. In order to do that, we try so hard to wake them up and fix them. There’s a lot to try to fix.
Like so many of us, I suffered the unthinkable. The insults, name-calling, extreme jealousies, violent behaviors, pathological lies, and even criminal behavior against me and others. And I stayed. I was lecturing, I was prescribing. I was trying to fix him and teach him and direct him toward having a conscience, changing his ways, trying to develop his character into humanity and integrity.
I want you to ask yourself, have you been doing this? Have you caught yourself going over and over fundamental points of decency that a five-year old should naturally understand?
Whilst I did that with him, I was attacked mercilessly, just as you’ve been. Whilst I was trying to get him to see the error of his ways I experienced the twists, the turns, the snarling defenses, the low blows, the attacks, the shocking accusations and insults came thick and fast.
Then there was the stonewalling, the silent treatments, the abandonment episodes, where he would leave and be non-contactable for hours on end, or even longer.
He would do things that were so out of bounds, it made my head spin, and I was thinking, how does he think he can treat me like this and get away with it and think I’m going to stay with him? Yet I did. I always did.
He even set me up and called the police on me. He hit me. He stole money out of my accounts. He twisted people and authorities against me horrifically, and it was so bad I ended up suicidal. I lost my mind and I became so sick that I almost lost my life.
I was fighting a battle that I was never going to win, and experience after experience showed me that. Yet, for some reason, which we’re going to talk about in a moment, I couldn’t at the time stop myself from doing it.
Why We Try To Fix Others And Why It Doesn’t Work
When we’re stuck in the construct of, “It’s my duty to fix this person”, we’re not seeing the truth. And this was the real truth – I believed I needed him to be the version of him I wanted for me to have a happy, fulfilling, loving, and functional life.
I promise you that it’s the same for all of us. You have made the narcissist in your life – that you’re trying to fix – the source of yourself and this means you are handing all of your power away.
Now, I want you to say this statement with me, let’s say this following statement together, because it’s going to help you understand what I’m telling you.
Here’s the statement, “When I try to make you kind, caring, truthful and loving so that I can be safe, I’ve handed all of my power to you.”
Now, I just want you to stop and I want you to feel that statement in your body. Do you feel out of your body? Do you feel like you’ve handed your power away? Do you feel like you’re not anchored in your body taking back your power and truth and able to generate it for real?
If I was to say to you, “Mary or John, my day is rubbish until you change what you’re doing to me.” Then my entire emotional life lies in your hands. I have no control of it.
So what I want you to do, I want you to really just grasp this last bit that we went over, and I want you to write in the comments below how that statement felt in your body.
Now let me share with you the real Quantum reason why trying to fix somebody will never work. In fact, it only brings more distress, abuse, and devastation. This relates to the baseline Quantum Law that I talk about all the time – so within, so without.
Let me explain. Your life is generating from you inside of you. You are always choosing more of you and generating more of you even though often, especially before Thriver healing, it’s deeply unconscious that this is what’s happening.
So whenever you’re trying to fix somebody else in order for you to feel better and be loved and feel safe, this equals how to lose, because really on the inside you are feeling unloved, unsafe, and distressed. Therefore any attempt you try to make to change somebody else out there, when you’re like this in here, is not going to grant you an improvement of what is really going on inside of you. In fact, it will only bring you an amplification of what is going on inside of you.
When battling the narcissist, I had no idea that that was going on until I turned inwards, healed on the inside, and understood how to be my own Source and then generate more of that. I promise you, that you can get to this level too.
A battle with a narcissist is a spiritual war of the highest order. It’s a psychological war, it’s an emotional war. It’s a war for your Soul and spirit. If you feel empty and broken and not whole, the narcissist will smash all of these parts of you up to the surface. The narcissist is not the healer of these wounds, they are the messenger of them by continuing to smash them.
Your Goal Is To Be Your True Self
Now, let’s jump forward to your goal in all of this. It’s for you to be the Source to yourself by generating what you want so that you can be you and live your life, regardless of what other people are or aren’t being or choosing. That’s freedom, that’s power, that’s your True Self.
Of course there’s a lot more work to do – inner work on a lot of this stuff and everything that’s around it – such as the fears of leaving, how you’re going to survive on your own, all of those attachments, obsessions and addictions you feel towards the narcissist. You’ve got a lot of healing to do on that. That’s what the deep inner Thriver work is all about.
Can you see how it’s your goal to be your True Self, regardless of what other people are being or choosing or doing.
Here is another powerful truth. It’s not your right to change anybody, and it’s certainly not loving, because really what you’re saying is, “I am not loving you enough to allow you to be yourself. I need you to be what I need to feel loved, safe, and happy.” That’s not loving, it’s controlling.
I want you to imagine that you meet somebody who is a non-narcissist, and you’re really active and social, and this person never wants to do anything, they’re unmotivated and aren’t hard working. You’re a really active, conscientious person and they sit on the couch, watch movies and eat junk food all day, but they may be a beautiful Soul …
You trying to change them and get them off the couch to make you happy is not loving. Them trying to stop you from going out the door and getting you on the couch with them watching TV is not loving. You’re not a match for each other’s values and truths.
Kindness, honesty, integrity, the ability to work on solutions and teamwork are your values and truth. Narcissists don’t want those things, stop trying to change them. Let them go and align with and choose people that are your truth.
This is a thing about narcissistic abuse. It is a powerful Soul experience. It is off the charts traumatizing. It is so traumatizing. There’s nothing like it.
That means, to recover there is only one path out of it … to let go, turn inwards and become loving, honest, kind and attentive enough to yourself that you get to this place of, “I now choose, deserve and align with kindness care and honesty and anything less is not my truth.” Genuinely get there, not just as a concept, but as an embodied, healed and whole enough truth within you for it to be your new self and your new life.
In Conclusion
Now, I want to tell you about Thrive, which I touched on at the start of this video, because it is the 10-week healing Bootcamp course that is about all of this – granting you back to yourself, your alignment, your truth, your values, how to release everything that is not that so that very quickly and powerfully you can take your Soul, spirit and your sanity back.
Now, the first Bootcamp course, the 10-week one that we did, surpassed my wildest expectations with how powerfully it helped members of this incredible community heal, even those that have been struggling and had found nothing that was working for them, just like it can, and will for you also.
I’d love to invite you to take part and break free from all of this trauma of trying to fix and hang in there as well as all of the other nasties that go with narcissistic abuse, by joining me every week for powerful discoveries, life-changing Quantum Freedom Healing sessions for that 10 week period.
Click here to register for your spot.
I really hope today has made a lot of deep sense to you, you really felt those statements. I’m looking forward to your comments and your questions about this episode, and as always, please know there’s hope for all of this, more than hope.
Dear Melanie!
This certainly resonates with me for several different reasons! Being a veteran who is still in recovery from military trauma I have had the opportunity, over the past several decades, to be with and around veterans who are deeply and severely traumatized and have PTSD, traumatic brain injuries and all sorts of difficult and troubling emotional issues! I have seen veterans get “fixed” and move on to very often healthy and productive lives. I have also lived with a narcissist for several decades! Having observed this narcissist for the same period of time I cannot see that there is any possibility that this narcissist will ever be fixed! Like you said, I tried and it was impossible…. The trauma of living with this abusive demonic creature was so devastating I often wondered, many times, what is the point of living! Since joining up with you and NARP these ideation’s have reduced a great deal. In that sense, doing my best to practice the life-saving principles of NARP, I see hope but that hope is for me and only me and NOT the narcissist! Thank you so much for sharing with us, again, your story and wisdom! MUCH LOVE, MELANIE TONIA EVANS AND THANK YOU! ❤️🦋❤️
This journey is so about US …
It’s sad but true, that’s the only way it can be Peter.
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Perfect timing! … the realization, I thought has been with me for quite awhile, yet his NPD is relentless and my habit of responding has not faded yet. With this recent message of yours I finally hear what I need to do for myself LOUD + CLEAR – I can begin to move forward, with what now appears SO obvious. I thank you for how much clarity you provide on what my own behavior/self could not so easily see.
Thank you again for all the knowledge, caring + love you share, (and best wishes to others as you work through this with yourself, the one you can really trust and rely on.) Let’s, us, we, help ourselves, as best we can – we deserve it.
Warmest wishes.
I can’t tell you how bad I needed to hear everything you shared in this video. I’m sitting in my car right now as it rains, my belongings in bags, after being chased out by my you know who has been ranting, insulting, and raging at me on and off for the past 48 hours. I reached my limit so I waited till he got sleepy and made a dash hoping to avoid whatever was thrown at me from behind. I don’t know why I keep trying, I just make it worse. I felt like you were directly talking to me Melanie. I hear and accept these truths and will not let them go. I’m so tried from all the drama from the last 8 years (this is my second narc). This isn’t me and I have lost all my people. Thank you for the tough love and truth tonight. It feels like divine intervention because I am scared for my life if I make him angry one more time.
Hi Johnny,
I am so pleased I showed up on your device today!
Sending you love, strength and breakthrough.
It is your time to let go, heal and Thrive
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Hi PV,
I’m really happy this has helped grant you clarity!
Thank you for your beautiful words to all and sending you love, strength and healing
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Hi Melanie I ijoyd listen tanx I did try to fix him and he gave out to me I just couldn’t stand him being ragady and he said just leave me alone I did stop at him and OMG when he hit I was shocked I’m away from him at the moment and its really tough on me I’m lyeing here in my house writing this mel and I’m nervous the least little noise I here I’m cringe I’m scared because I’m ignoring him I really don’t know wat going to happen do you think I’m taking the right steps please advise me I got a lot out of listeng tonight and you really have inspiration me I’m trying My best and this really scares me FIRST real relationship with a NARASISTIC man
I’ll make it through please God blessings 🙏🙏🙏🙏❣️ night night thankyou for listening,………..
Hi Sasy,
the way out of this pain, is healing within.
You are here to experience your soul breakthrough to your True Self and True Life.
Sending you love and healing
Mel 🙏💞🦋
I am in the process of getting a divorce from a npd .I was married close to forty years and it was hell I have a lot of guilt for refusing to let go . I tried to fix him . Just like you said so I could be safe and loved. Thank you so much for the video it answered some questions for me about my self. I’m grateful for the healing journey but it’s hard work. Much love and healing 💛 I would never wish this on anyone
Hi Julie,
I’m really pleased this helped answer your questions.
Are you healing with NARP http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp or maybe looking at Thrive http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/thrive ? These are such game-changers in how you can heal.
Much love
Mel 🙏💞🦋
40 yrs…. wow, we must be a similar age. I can’t imagine starting over again at this age with no children, no family. But I can’t imagine living like this longer either. I’m trying to believe leaving will allow the space for the right people to come in. But as long as I am “fleeing from” it, I’m afraid I will be vulnerable to it still, that I didn’t finish the inner work to be immune to it. I’m trying to figure out if its good gut guidance or some programming that says I need to leave from a position of emotional strength, that I’m “off” the emotional hooks and see him as pathetic vs fleeing with some fear.
Me, too! I just walked away from a 37-year marriage. It’s because of you, Melanie, that I finally understood what was happening. I am so grateful your story made its way to me. Thank you…
Hi Patti,
I am so happy for you that you broke away, and that I could help support you to do that.
Please know how welcome you are.
Much Love
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Dearest Melanie,
Right at the first paragraph or occurred to me that trying to FIX or HEAL anyone is a way to avoid living our own life to the fullest.
It seems cruel to about this. But becoming TRULY whole means letting go of this false narrative that other people’s happiness depend on us.
It is a BIG LIE.
THERE IS ONLY ONE SOURCE OF GOOD. AND THAT IS GOD ALONE.
AND there is only ONE salvation and that is through hearing receiving and practicing His Word.
Your NARP program could apply to anyone thinking they are responsible for fixing others. Parents, teachers, doctors, nurses, etc.
The good news is that everyone is called to respond to God’s goodness. Only each one can do so for themselves.
Our real help is by being an example of FREEDOM.
SO LET’S TRULY LOVE and set an example of HAPPINESS BY BEING FREE ourselves.
It seems counterintuitive , put we put our oxygen on first.
Let’s breathe 😊🙏❤️🤗
Hi Iris,
I love your energy, connection to God, Truth and Light!
Yes beautiful lady, cheers to breathing and FREEDOM!
Much Love
Mel 🙏💞🦋
I need your help to healing from emotional as well as fiscal abused. Was been married for 30 years went through hell and it peaked in the last 2 to 3 years of been married. The last year was next level. My best friend and my ex husband was cheated on me so badly. He said we must try again but I must not put my hopes to it time and time over and over again. So the level of abuse went up. Very bad. I almost died. Please I need you to help me to forget about the horrific trauma I went through.
The day after our divorce date he said we must try again, I was still in that web and woud do any thing to please him te made this work. But I realised he don’t love me he started straight away again with the very same things he needed from me. He don’t want me having hair, it must been shaved of every day and no eyebrows I must grow my underarm hair he told me to pierced my whole ear it was so painful but I did yes all he asked I did. I thought I could save our marriage by doing these things. He and my best friend had a affair over 2 years already he was between me and her!
I could see in him that he is so confused he was with me but he was not there. He only had sex on his brain 24/7 he was been sex addicted he was payed people to have sex with me and he joyed in on that taking photo’s and video’s It gave him so much pleasure.
I said over and over but it is not normal. But he made me believe it is absolutely normal. The he started with pee himself wet and from there he made me drink his pee. He liked to wear lace underwear and makeup painted his nails and toes dress up as a women every time we went on holiday he will go out like he is dressed like a women. I was devastated I hated it I hated myself!!!!! He hacked my phone and trace me was so nervous that I will tell and talked to people.
There was so many things the last thing was a huge fight we had because he still want those things and I said NO If you not loving me for whom I am then its not going to work. He said well in that case the we have nothing in common any more. He made I accident on a bridge there was 2 other cars also invalt and we stoped 1 meter from the rail of a very high bridge. He lose controle of the car as we were fighting we almost went of that bridge. And you will not believe it but he said that was my mistake I causes the accident. I was always getting the blame for everything. That was the end of trying after been divorced. Two weeks later he informed me that he and my ex friend and him are together and yes they are still together. Been divorced now for 8 months and they see each other every weekend went on holiday and yes she is absolutely enjoying all the love and sex and that she is not single any more. He on the other hand is getting what he wants and that is sex from a new supply that is not new, course he did have payed people to have sex with him also.
I was in a toxic marriage and I did say so money times but it is not normal. But yes he convinced me that is totally normal. I am every day grateful that I am out there, but the trauma and in-packed that that had on my life is not easy. I am really suffering and try so hard but I am so exhausted and drained I need help.
Mel, I as I repeated the words of that statement after you I actually FELT& watched in my mind’s eye My ‘Self’ actually sort of “dropping INTO my body”; so that I really seemed to experience myself becoming a better, stronger, more powerful & VIBRANT version of the True Me. Pretty amazing stuff! THANKS!!!!!
It’s been almost exactly 1 year since I joined the Gold Membership of NARP & I’ve worked all of the basic modules in this program. I have gotten amazing results. (I don’t think that I am the same person that I was; I had to get honest with myself–I have so much less ‘fear’ controlling me. And as for the narcissists in my life, they are ‘gone’ OR they have revealed themselves as mere ‘Paper Tigers’. I am grateful now that I am able to see the ‘other side of them’ — their seamy, unfinished & ugly underbellies. (NO THANK YOU, I DON’T WANT TO DANCE!’). Narp has helped me over a big hump in my life & CONTINUES to assist me in living my BEST life. And for this reason, I am eternally grateful. I wholeheartedly recommend NARP to anyone who is suffering with the pain of relationships with a bully/narcissist. If anyone is trying to decide ‘whether’ or ‘whether not’ to join this program, I would encourage them to JUMP right in with both feet! I did & I’m so glad I did. I have so much more love in my life now. I am doing what I want to do & I’m enjoying my life at last! Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank YOU!!
Sara,
Oh my goodness this one hit home and isn’t it a hook that must be one of many that has our minds and bodies wrapped up in so much anger and attachment for them to be simply human when they are primitive on every level and it’s so true they are in hell inside hence why they hurt us. How can you get something good or any kind of validation, accountability, or understanding from a false self who is disordered? I get it now I have handed away myself throughout my life and had a strong victim pattern coming into this life and I have attracted abusers from a very young age and unsafe children and other people. Had my first narcissistic experience with two disordered narcs at 25 and as you say it was living hell and being so young I was unable to even realise they were abusing me because of severe projection, gas lighting and control. I also realise that I was passive hugely traumatised and hoping on the inside they would get it and the abuse just escalated and it was a horror show. Carrying so many abuser in my own body up to that point because I had so many painful things happen to me I remained in resentment and vengence and was unconscious of this and along came these two predators and smacked me with every painful experience I had up to that point – I want to say it again ‘I call back my power from where I have held them in these charges of conditional love’.
Dear Mel & the Thriver Community,
Please excuse my references to NARP instead of Thrive. When I came in last Aug. 2020, the program was called NARP. Thrivers & Thrive was a new word that I couldn’t relate to at all bc I think I was still so broken into a million little pieces from parental narcissistic abuse. (This took me SO long to understand, let alone ‘ACCEPT’. I had to go through all of the cognitive dissonance issues but in the end, your wonderful program has enabled me to not only pick up all of the millions of tiny little pieces of my “former self” but I have been able to ‘Re-Make’ & re-fashion some of my KEY PARTS. I am discovering that I ‘am’ a “good” person (I never felt sure of this while growing up & often truly believed that I was “a bad girl”). I’ve expanded & enhanced some of my old ‘Key Parts’ that were too old & used up so that now, I really feel a brand-new source of “aliveness” within me. (Btw, I just decided that I wanted to “learn” something new, so I decided to buy myself some new piano books at the music store. I’ve dusted off some of my old piano skills while I’ve been practicing some new types of piano music with much patience & gratitude. Life really IS good today & I’d like for others to be able to experience this same freeing feeling for themselves, if they choose to do so.
I read every email and transcript and they bring me more understanding of the why’s and yet I feel I’m on a permanent Groundhog Day, frozen, risking so much and yet letting him continue to break the pieces of me he hasn’t already broken…. I’m not with him. I don’t want him. Yet I’m lucky if I can make it to 10 days no contact and usually by then he’s contacted me… I have him blocked and yet emails still get through and I know I shouldn’t read them or reply but I do…. It’s killing me. It’s affecting my parenting and my son is already so broken from my relationship. I’m so tired. My soul is tired, well the ghost of it that’s left. I’ve always known myself and been able to deal with things but I cannot seem to move forward. Besides him the universe keeps throwing so much at me, two steps forward snd five back…. I can’t catch my breath and the things that happen/happened, you couldn’t make them up if you tried….
My whole life I’ve had no power and I didn’t realise it. Now I’m nit sure how to begin or where or if I even have the energy or care to…. I’ve been focused on trying to get my son to a healthier healed place but I’m not good for him I feel, I try but he’s been more adult than I have and while he doesn’t blame me I do. I feel I’m toxic for everybody and am alone in my brokenness.
I keep reading and keep on trying.
Thank you
You have been on this journey with me for a long while and it’s appreciated.
Really resonated with Peter44’s observations, comparing military trauma with narc abuse trauma. Have worked with many veterans and seen them recover from PTSD, fully cleared, and go on to live beautiful, positive, healed lives. But narc abuse seems to be of a different order of trauma altogether. Grossman suggests that the perpetrator’s level of intimacy with their victim may affect the level of trauma that their despicable acts can cause. So perhaps an intimate partner, or parent, may be able to cause us greater psychological and spiritual damage than an act carried out between enemies during war?? I dont know the answer to that, but it was very helpful to read Mel’s comments above describing narc abuse as ‘a powerful Soul experience. It is off the charts traumatizing. …There’s nothing like it.’. i think it is not recognized in mainstream culture just how life-shattering this experience is, which means we can often feel totally alone and a great deal of shame. I totally underestimated, downplayed and denied the damage it was doing to me for a very long time, kept trying to carry on as if that kind of life experience was normal or expected (i.e. “you’ve got to work hard in a long marriage” etc etc). Mel recognises and respects the depth of the trauma, which is helpful in itself, but more importantly, she offers a way out. Take it!!
Thank you Melanie. This all makes total sense. Im newish (joined late last year) to NARP. I am doing the healings and believe in them but not yet feeling recovered. What is the difference between THRIVE and NARP? Also you mentioned about all the fears that come with leaving the narcissist around how will one survive financially and carry out all the financial affairs without them. How can one recover from these financial fears? Thank you.
Hi Tessa,
I’m so glad this has helped you get clarity.
That is such a good question. Imagine having all the information for gym workouts, and then you go to the gym yourself to get healthy and fit .. That is the analogy for NARP … and if you wanted to do an intense Bootcamp for 10 weeks to get fast powerful, extreme results .. that is Thrive!
Absolutely by releasing the trauma within generating those fears, you will go free from them.
We work through this a lot in Thrive! http://www.melanietoniiaevans.com/thrive It is all part of recovery.
I hope that this helps.
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Recently I had found that I am autistic and my relative is narcissist so there are a lot of difficulties in our relationship but that happened during our youth so we had not been in contact with each other for more than a decade ago. She initiated it to end, often had many times, coming and going, sometimes ignoring me and other times being friendly. What is sad about this is the betrayal that I heard from previous school colleagues that had experienced the bad treatment from her and it had been over 3 decades ago. They only realised that it was not my fault that her behaviour was erratic just because we were related. If anyone knows us for real, we are both like chalk and cheese. But she is doing much better than me career wise, while I am more closer with my family.
Handing over all my power sounds scary to me. Right now in my life I’m worried and anxious. I got the courage to leave him, but right now he won’t leave me alone. There are texts and emails and phone calls and it makes me nervous. He’s always trying to fix it by becoming obsessive. I’ve been ignoring most of it unless it has something to do with this kids, but his go to is how I’m messing up their life, and I’m going to take all my problems into my next relationship so we can just fix what we have. He gaslights me, his criticism is all day everyday, he’s never been abusive, but he seems mentally unstable for a while now. I tell him I need space and to leave me alone but he can’t and it gives me so much anxiety, he says he expects us to be together again in 5 months. It took a lot of courage to tell him it was over and I’m not doing that again so I will not be going back and I don’t know when he will stop and I don’t understand why I am so scared. I’m a tough person, I’ve been threw alot, I’ve overcome many things in my life and this seems so different to me. I just know I need to teach my children what a relationship really is, not what they are seeing and that keeps me going, but he says it’s showing them I’m a quitter and take the easy way out.
Hi Melanie,
It’s been a while since chiming in and listening to one of your talks. It is so wonderful and powerful to hear you continue to speak these amazing truths that soak through my soul. In this time that I have been “quiet” I have not been asleep. The truths that I first came in contact with through the NARP program so thoroughly washed through me that it’s taken this long to make those truths mine and be to able to SEE that I am becoming the person, the soul who is my Source of Life and Love! Your words are so deeply powerful, more powerful than any of the lies or insults that the narcs in my life had thrown my way. THANK YOU for sharing your story so openly, so plainly, so deeply painfully as you have and do. My life continues to change, my soul renew, and my body continues to morph like a beautiful butterfly even as the sacredness of time works it’s magic in and through me.
I have been willing to GIVE UP EVERYTHING, in order to HAVE EVERYTHING.
Love,
Kathryn
Cloud Woman
Hi Kathryn,
it’s lovely to hear from you!
Your words are so beautiful soul sister!
Love and blessings to you
Mel 🙏💞🦋