I Healed My Trauma From A Toxic And Financially Abusive Relationship Just 5 Months After Starting NARP
My Thriver Story
Have you ever watched one of those goofy movies where the opening scene shows the main character in a chaotic moment and the picture freezes, and you hear a needle scratch across a record? Then the main character’s voice says, “Yep, that was me”.
Well. Yep, that was me, June 20, 2021. But I digress, let’s go to the beginning.
I met my ex online in 2009. It was a long distance relationship. I thought I was doing the right thing by waiting a couple of years and dating before quitting my job and moving.
Once I moved, it was instantaneously clear that something was wrong. The words I have learned through NARP – triangulation, devalued, silent treatment, lying by omission, excuses using word salad and just being ignored, all apply.
In 2017, I spent $100k in credit cards to put this person through a real estate investor school. Once the seminars were over and the effort and work had to begin, the ex had every excuse not to do it.
None of this would have mattered if we had a loving, emotionally bonded relationship. Instead, I felt abandoned and responsible for everything and that they were just along for the ride. That I should be ecstatic to be in the presence of the wonderfulness of them.
I left in 2019 and restarted my life back home. Then the love bombing started, yet, again, I didn’t know. I thought I might get out of debt. Yes, the ex followed me.
2020 happened and the world stopped. I volunteered to be a Covid Nurse. This was the narc’s excuse to move to the guest room. Yet they had no problem eating the food that I would go to the store to get and cook. They would only come out of the bedroom when I started cooking. Would only speak to me if I went to their room.
Finally in March of 2021, I started seeing Melanie’s videos on FB. I was speechless that there was a NAME for this kind of behavior. I was so, so ready for this person to be out of my life. I did everything Melanie said. I started with “gray rock”. I didn’t react to anything. We didn’t speak for a week.
They told me they were going to see their family for two weeks and I very calmly said, “you need to stay there”.
They were gone in June. I went no contact. I deleted and blocked their phone number. I was reading all of Melanie’s blogs and watching the videos, so I was ready for the smear campaign. And boy did it come! The narcissist had detached me from their family years ago, so I really didn’t care what the flying monkeys had to say.
I noticed the first wave of relief was not sustaining and I was having anger issues. The foggy brain wasn’t clearing up, and I wasn’t doing well at work. I didn’t understand why I wasn’t feeling joy, freedom and happiness, just anger and frustration.
On July 21, 2021, I joined NARP, because “there was nothing else to do”.
My mind was an absolute puddle. I was second guessing myself on everything.
I dove into NARP with full on Trust. I didn’t understand what I was doing, but I Trusted. I felt I was in a life-or-death fight.
At first, it would take me the second healing before my mind would calm down enough to get out of the way. I have embraced the NARP program. I was so nervous all the time, stomach in knots, worried about bills … this has subsided immensely.
Within weeks I was offered a retainer bonus at work and received a pay raise. I also lost 40lbs of stress cortisol weight.
I had a setback in September, over the Labor Day Holiday. I was working with Covid patients and had hard chills, temp was 103F. I tested negative for Covid. I could not get out of bed. I was tested for the flu, also negative. Lab work was normal. It hit me so hard, it had to be WETIKO, their power was being taken away. It was Quanta Freedom Healing night and day.
In October, I went on a holiday to Florida BY MYSELF, for the first time ever. THAT was what I needed.
It has now been five months since joining NARP. I am amazed at my transition and transformation.
The single greatest thing the Modules did for me was put a mirror up to myself. After the initial shock and focusing on letting go of the narcissist and all that entailed, I have been able to incorporate the Modules to other aspects in my life.
NARP has provided me with resources to be accountable for ME. I am responsible for ME. There is a Module for letting go of guilt and while I am not guilty for what happened, I am responsible – I was there.
To my fellow Thrivers, you must Trust. There is more to this. Our collective abuse has sent us to this place and point in time. We are sensitive, empathic, survivors. This is our Close Encounters of the Third Kind but instead of a mountain, it was Narcissistic abuse that has brought us together. We are getting stronger with each other, and with strength we CAN make a difference.