How do narcissists pull it off?
You may meet one, and every morsel of your being recoils. Yet later, you feel drawn to and even attracted to this person.
Have you heard the story of the Alabama corrections officer who fell in love with a narcissistic inmate and helped plan his escape? Maybe you know psychologists who start relationships with diagnosed narcissists – even their clients.
What IS this about?
Today I want to share with you exactly what it is…
Being Mesmerised by a Narcissist
It’s very true, narcissists are charming.
They have a certain energy that is captivating – intoxicating even. They can appear so vulnerable, sweet, enchanting, exciting, courageous and downright sexy, all wrapped into one person.
Yet, I promise you this… many of us who used to fawn at a narcissist’s feet (or at least be drawn to them in some way) now feel revulsion around these people. They feel ‘off’ instead of ‘alluring’.
Please know I am not criticising you in any way if you are still going through the very painful feelings of being ‘soul-captured’ by one of these creatures! Have faith that one day, you will get to where we are!
In this article, I promise to explain the mysterious power of narcissists to you in a deeper way that helps you realise you are not going mad and there isn’t something horribly wrong with you.
In fact, what you are going through is completely normal, considering the power and validity of your connection with a narcissist. And there is a REAL purpose in this.
I am going to go into depth about that soon.
Like my previous self, colleagues, friends, clients and students who are now free from narcissists, you may be BAMBOOZLED. Your situation is untenable and unliveable. This person is completely and utterly destructive to your life force, health and possessions. So why does none of this count, and why do you still feel like you can’t live without this person?
Read on…
Narcissists are Anti-Source and Anti-Life
I’m just going to say it how it is – narcissists are psychic vampires. They are emotional predators not connected to their True Source (their Higher Self).
Source equals Life-force. It’s simpley the energy creates everything you see.
Therefore, without Source, narcissists require other people’s emotional energy to sustain themselves, just like mythical vampires require human blood to escape being dead.
You’ve probably had the experience of feeling exhausted and lifeless after spending time with someone – even over the phone. There is a very good reason for this.
You are a fractal of Source / God / Creation. Unlike the narcissist – who has sold their soul by crossing the line into total darkness and purposefully inhumane acts – you are a pathway to Life-force. That is the energy the narcissist seeks to feed upon to sustain himself or herself.
How do they suck your Life-force?
Simply by interacting with you and using your attention to connect themselves to you. The more emotion you have involved in this interaction, the more Life-force this person can steal from you.
This is going on at a deeply emotional, unconscious level – it is NOT logical. Trying to logically solve a spiritual, energetic quandary such as narcissistic abuse by thinking, talking and researching is like tuning into a radio station and hoping to get reception on your TV.
How Do Narcissists ‘Get In’?
Narcissists are experts at working out how to appear as a ‘salvation’ to someone. They hit all the hot emotional buttons to infiltrate, enmesh and then start extracting Life-force and everything else they can get their hands on.
If you are feeling empty of love, approval, security or survival, you are ripe for the picking. Narcissists energetically feel people very succinctly. This is a skill these emotional parasites have honed as a necessity to survive.
Here is a powerful truth that people and teachers wishing to hang on to the ‘victim narrative’ don’t want to hear or speak about. You are only susceptible to being manipulated, mined and harvested by a narcissist if your own connection to Source is NOT solid.
If you are connected to the True Source (in relationship with your own Higher Power), these False Sources are Not Your Reality. They simply do not get your attention.
A connection to your own Higher Power can be purposefully created by doing the inner work to release the traumas that the narcissist triggers forth. These inner spaces can then be filled with Source Light – and my Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP) is an effective process to do this.
Then you will emerge feeling inwardly solid, self-generative, full and calmly peaceful, and able to show up authentically.
Narcissists quickly recognise people like this. They know they will not hand over their power, make rash decisions or get involved with another without taking their time to assess the suitability of this person sensibly. Also, authentically connected people are guided by the voice of Source, a firm “yuck” about narcissists!
But, of course, until awakening, this is NOT the majority of humankind. We have been trained to outer-seek our salvation through people, objects and being attached to results – rather than focussing on our own Beingness.
Narcissists can target us until we develop beyond an ‘ordinary’ human life into an ‘extraordinary’ human life: knowing we are at One with Source, having a spirit-filled and spirit-led existence whilst being in a physical body.
Knowing that we are literally One with the Power that creates Universes and is made from the same stuff. This is not hubris. It is a humble energetic reality.
The Truth – The Spiritual War
Now let’s go back to these circumstances of being enmeshed with a narcissist DESPITE all the insanely obvious red flags.
You know the narcissist has cheated on people before you, yet you’ve convinced yourself that you will change this person even after you catch the narcissist cheating on you!
The jail warden who planned to escape with the criminal believed a faux story of innocence. But why THIS inmate when she had been on the job ten years and heard it all before?
Why do you keep going back to THIS person, even though previously you would never have tolerated such terrible behaviour and the destruction of Self? Yet NOW you feel powerless to stop it?
People say it is because “We have kids and property and businesses together”. Yes, these are factors, but I promise you that I have seen people with NONE of these things have identical struggles. I’ve also seen people with ALL those things leave narcissistic relationships in empowered ways once they shift their Inner Being out of trauma and back to a Source-filled Self.
Something much more profound is going on. It’s completely mysterious until you awaken to it.
.
With narcissistic abuse, you have heartbreak, unresolved feelings of betrayal, devastation and loss, and you also feel like you have been soul infected, infiltrated, taken over and possessed.
It is the most soul-snatching feeling of someone hijacking your mind, emotions and dreams. They are wedged in your life experience on repeat by association to things everywhere.
It’s soul-haunting.
It’s like black ink and shards of glass flooding your body and veins.
It takes everything you have to merely survive these feelings.
To break free and take your soul and life force back from this energetic predator, your healing needs to take place at the level of your emotional soul and spirit – because the narcissist is interacting with you at this level.
You are in a spiritual war fighting for your soul.
It’s literally a battle between ‘Light’ and ‘Dark’.
Will you return your soul home to its True State – Source – which is your Higher Power?
Or does the Dark Overlord – the narcissistic False Self – take your soul instead?
By waking up, you can decide.
Soul Contracts
I’d like you to open your mind to this possibility.
What if this person in your life was a soul contract?
What if some unconscious part of your spirit (the REAL you) created this ‘interaction’ for some Higher Reason?
Upon meeting a narcissist, often there are feelings of familiarity, good and bad. Many people have reported they felt uneasy, sensed this person’s ‘darkness’, or knew this person was ‘dangerous’ because of being warned by others.
Yet somehow, events conspire, and you feel the opposite way towards them. It could be so intense you think, “You are exactly the person I’ve been waiting for”.
I believe this is the absolute truth, but not in the way we initially believe.
Many years ago, when I was going through the devastating and soul-shattering breakdown of my marriage to a narcissist, I read a book by Barbara DeAngelis where she talked about soul contracts. She spoke of a ‘soul vision’, discussing her potential earth growth with her spiritual guides.
She said, “I wish to learn self-love and value myself.” A soul appeared and said he could help her. She asked, “How?” He said, “I will meet you in this lifetime, you will be drawn to me, fall in love, and love me more than life itself. I will hurt and abuse you until you let go of me and return home to your Source of love and power. I will not stop until you do.”
As a soul, she was overjoyed and thrilled to embark on this lifetime.
Of course, for a time, she forgot. We all do in our human amnesia. We forget that as a fractal of Source, as a Divine Creator made in the image and likeness of Creation, that ‘another’ is NOT our Source.
When we are in Oneness with our Higher Self – our true essence – we already are love, fullness, calm and personal truth. From this place, will simply not tolerate narcissistic abuse.
Back to the point – narcissists get in. They are MEANT to get in.
Then, despite all the warning signs, traumas, disappointments and devastations that we encounter with them, we struggle to let go. We try to FORCE them to be our Source of love, approval, security or survival.
Because we are not partnered with Source, the Highest Contextual Field or All That Is.
If you had a narcissistic parent or a family member as a child, you were powerless to let go, take the necessary soul graduation and heal from this painful human co-dependency. But as an adult, even if this abuse is all you know, you can.
Logically, we may assume adults have a much easier time letting go of other narcissistic adults, but this is not true. Our wounded inner child causes us to feel small, dependent and unlovable. We hand away our power by assigning another specific adult as our Source because of feeling like a powerless child on the inside.
In my humble opinion, it usually isn’t until Quantum Inner Healing Shifts (NARP) that we can feel strong, empowered, safe and ‘adult’ inside. Parents and other adults are not there to protect us, yet Source has our back and Life-force eternally.
In Conclusion
Phew – I hope today has explained a lot!
I invite you to open your mind and consciousness to this Higher Level of understanding to effectively get out of this emotional prison that is NOT your True Self, True Life or the way your Higher Self intended you to live.
This is why it feels so wrong and terrible!
NARP is my core suggestion to you – always – to come back home.
It’s how I, and countless others, reversed narcissistic trauma and agony and finally claimed more freedom and liberation than we had experienced in our entire life – even before the abuse.
I also have a wonderful event coming up on Valentine’s Day, my Manifesting 5D Love Relationships Event. In this event, I will help you Quantumly accelerate your healing into fifth-dimensional Love, enabling you to escape the lower dimensions of fear, pain and defences to enter higher levels of integrity, support, Divine Love and Unity Consciousness. During the event, we will be taking part in a powerful global healing, creating a leap of consciousness for you and helping you to resolve the issues discussed in this article today.
It’s beautiful to see how many wonderful souls seeking True Love are already signed up to join me in this global event. If you haven’t yet taken the plunge, please don’t hesitate! No need to worry; you might have plans, as you will receive a replay.
Please share this article with others to help awaken them to the truth, and show them the way out of their suffering with narcissists.
And of course, let me know your thoughts below.
POW! says Melanie to the (in the end, false) power of narcs. Because these truths, so clearly articulated here, show us how we who are blind to their evil succumb to their wily, deceptive ways. Every single one of us is born unknowing so very much about how the world works, especially people within it. Perhaps partly because of our parenting, perhaps partly because of “chance” or even karma, some of us learn the lessons of “standing up to bullies” early in life, successfully avoiding them. Then, some of us don’t learn these lessons, and/or are totally fooled by narcs who flood us with their charms and deceptions, and then it becomes too late, and we are deeply harmed.
The good news (twice!) is that we can learn to “see,” to overcome this blindness, and that once we do this, we can continue with the work (doable, challenging at times, but doable and with a finish line that means a “win”) to assure that we never let ourselves be “dazzled during blindness” ever again. This is precisely what Melanie helps us do with NARP, her Courses and her Events: they are remarkable and remarkably effective (I speak from personal experience).
You are not “defective” because you have become ensnarled in the “mysterious power” of narcs. Rather, you have not quite yet learned to see the world in a way where they become powerless. While it sounds odd to do so, please consider this “new sight” you can learn and earn to be a sort of a gift, something that someone has given you the incentive to discover for yourself. Each journey is indeed a personal discovery and I wish you the best possible one for the rest of your life. Mel and her gentle, kind techniques really do work, since they target the exact “it’s about ME and MYSELF — and that is NOT narcissistic — it is not about other people external to me.” You got this.
I got this!!! My mantra. I fell , fractured three vertebrae, drove errands for a half day and then myself to the ER because I had not accepted the Indifference of my spouse, the opposite of Love. Ten years in Personal Therapy trying to accept what is next. Eighteen months later I still use a cane, have a rare form of progressive arthritis, and estranged of my nuclear family now almost a year. Lawyer is inept and nothing moving.
I am happy, I am healing, I am loving myself with each new version, Betty than the last, each and every day. I am bamboozled over how much I was manipulated and lied to right out in the open and waiting for that next “special” time together where I found myself loved. I am damaged and full of trauma and void in my physio- spiritual heart where all my love pours for other, and unappreciative at that
I am work in process. I love more and more of the person in the mirror. I am happy. The fog is lifting and skies clearing reveling the Light, My Source, My Power, Me. I matter, I am worthy of love and attention on my own basis. But mostly I am grateful for the opportunity to finish my life in the know and with an over abundance of self love and plenty more to share.
Cali mon, just had to reply. Been a long row, but… I got this!!!
Mel, thanks for your years of service and dedication to the lives of those suffering the Good Guy and Nice Girl Syndrome. We are truly blessed. Have a blessed day.
PS – Are you still RVing? A dream of mine. Dreams do come true!
Dang, Brian S: It’s a pleasure to meet you and what a beautiful message you have shared with us. I feel both a sense of “kindred spirit” with you and bathed in your light from wherever you shine.
Hi Brian ,
so lovely to hear from you and we love having great conscious guys like you in our wonderful community.
I’m so happy for you that you are healing.
I am now with my lovely man in Cape Tribulation – and incredible place we found whilst RV’ing! We are now setting up an incredible property. I will be posting pictures here very soon.
RVing is amazing – you have to do it!!
So much love to you!
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Hi Man from California,
it’s wonderful to see just how you have you have got this ..
The deeper REAL truth!
Much love and thank you for being in our wonderful community!
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Thank you Melanie,
This is so true. I´ve already experienced it, after being totally committed to my healing and using NARP as a main tool for it. I am very intelligent, even with extra capacities, and how is it possible that I got caught in narcissistic relationships of all kinds? Soul contracts. At a soul level, my soul doesn´t have a problem to understand it. In my case, it has also been a way to heal with the same souls I interacted in past lives and suffered severe abuse with them. I did a profound healing from those past lives, thanks to NARP. Not only that. By doing this healing mainly through NARP, I could connect with my Soul and Spiritual Family, in a way I couldn´t before – I was practicing yoga, meditation, psychic healing and mediation, and other healing and spiritual modalities, but although they were useful, at some point they were useless to heal from narcissistic abuse and the trauma bonding associated.
The soul evolution doing the healing work is incredible, and also the level of peace, bliss, joy, and beautiful soul and body states that come along in the healing. And yes, it requires a solid commitment with the healing process, a radical continuos act of self love and self loyalty, and being there for oneself always and specially when the pain of the trauma that wants to be healed comes up and sometimes feels overwhelming. And the reward of doing the healing is beyond expectations, the sense os liberation and natural empowerment is spectacular.
NARP is amazing and also Melanie and Team are upgrading it periodically. Also the NARP Forum is such a great support for the healing process, the wisdom and lovingkindness of the moderators and Thrivers there are healing itself.
With much gratitude and love,
Sonia
Hi Sonia,
please know how welcome you are!
It is very true that deep trauma requires deeper tools than what we once used to heal.
I love that NARP http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp and our wonderful NARP community have helped you so much, and are very happy for you.
Sending you extra love and blessings!
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Thank You all so much Mel! It is such a Blessing to be part of the Thrivers NARP Community 💞🙏
It really is Sonia,
You are very welcome and we ARE blessed!
Big love and blessings to you.
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Dear Melanie
I have been following you for 6 years now and am forever grateful for your words of wisdom and for constantly showing up.
Since leaving the narc 6 years ago, I have come a very long way and will continue to grow for as long as I live. But the real, deep, core healing journey for me began when I started reading your posts, doing NARP and feeling supported consistently. And continually you provide more insights and aha! moments.
So I really would like to thankyou, with all my heart and soul, for your work and for always remaining constant.
With much love and appreciation
Adriana
Hi Adriana,
thank you for your kind words and please know it is my pleasure.
I love that you dove in and used NARP http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp as the healing core tool – WITH the added supplements of what channels through in these posts. (It really is the healing winning formula!)
Many blessings to you Adriana
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Mel,
You are the first person to voice what I have felt deep in my soul always, in a fleeting now I see it, now I don’t kind of way. But only truly now can I see it clearly. Truth.
Trauma, caused by lifetime abuse and being unsure what is real and what isn’t, seemingly obliterates the connection with Source. Faith has to be torn to shreds, nearly annihilated, to allow new growth, in a healthy way.
All my life I have prayed for discernment. For the ability to see clearly. It took being derailed over and over my entire life (I am 70), but most especially the past three years for me to “get it.” It took me contemplating suicide. It took wanting to just cease to exist. The pain was so intense. The loneliness. Betrayals. Narcissists. Oh yeah. Lots of them. I had to face the same lessons over and over, and the messages grew louder and louder.
I just recently broke the barrier. I finally have lost my fear. I can stand up for myself. I can see who is toxic and walk away. I can also forgive. Most of them. It’s always a work in progress. Poco a poco. But yes, they key is connection to Source.
Thank you for affirming what I have learned.
Hi Ann,
I love that you have connected through this – and you – to the truth.
That’s a true re-membering!
So much love to you, and sending you healing and blessings!
Mel 🙏💞🦋
“I will meet you in this lifetime, you will be drawn to me, fall in love, and love me more than life itself. I will hurt and abuse you until you let go of me, and return home to your own Source of love and power. I will not stop until you do.”
Melanie, I have narcissistic parents and sister. I had this revengeful thought of taking birth to a codependent mother in next life and torturing her to the extent of her awakening to the truth of this false reality as I can’t tolerate seeing mothers depending their self worth on their children and making them responsible for their happiness I find it very selfish. It’s so strange that I saw this message of soul contract in your blog post. If I want to take revenge in my next life then I will certainly be a narcissist so I won’t be wishing it. My ex is also a narcissist he treated me so horribly. Due to him and my family only I have wisdom I got to know about narcissism and true self. I believe that one day I will heal from my trauma and reach 5D level of consciousness.
Hi Kavya,
and here it is exactly how unresolved emotional energy can continue to pay out – and the possibilities are – we have been perpetrators as well as victims – over and over again – until we let it ALL go and heal.
The unfinished business is what karma is.
Lovely that you wish to end these cycles, go free and heal.
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Dear Melanie,
Understanding the Spiritual dimension of the Narc spell – is precisely the reason your NARP system heals like nothing else in the field of Narcissistic Abuse recovery. You nail it.
We are in a Spiritual war when we realise it is time to let go of the Narc because the infection is in the Soul realm. We have been poisoned by a snake from another dimension and have been spiritually paralysed.
Only help from a Higher Power CHANNELED THROUGH a healer can we be cleansed, and eventually empowered to live and laugh again. We can not get there by ourselves EVEN IF WE ARE living in a strong, conscious connection to God. It takes help from a flesh and blood practitioner of Spiritual healing to help us make this particular connection. Realising this was hard for me. I already was a miracle worker, but I had never encountered such darkness before.
None of my healing tools helped me until I found you. NARP did help me not only heal – very quickly – but also expand my understanding to such a degree that my entire outlook on life is deeper – I am 5D now.
NARP is 5D consciousness applied to Narcissistic Abuse recovery. The freedom is indescribable.
THANK YOU SO MUCH – You’re an angel.
Hi Iris,
you are a true angel too my darling.
Please know your spiritual fitness has always inspired me too Iris!
Thank you for speaking of NARP in this way – I agree – without NARP I have no idea how I could have survived N-abuse, or sooooo many things in my life that have pushed my ascension.
Yes – 5D in truth is the only way to go now, and thank goodness NARP helps us shed the darkness and fill with Light to call it forth – quickly … powerfully.
Love always to you sweetheart and keep shining your Light.
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Hi Melanie,
Thank you for another interesting article. There is something that has come to my mind a few times when reading or listening to your talks, and that is the way you use the term “logical”. Logics has been crucial for me as part of my inner work and correction of old, unhelpful beliefs, a real “life saver” in fact, and it makes me sad to see it downplayed. To me logics is a necessary tool in any kind of reasoning, guiding me from a set of true, observed circumstances to a conclusion. This is my authentic self at work, as opposed to just internalizing conclusions stated by someone else, based on a set of circumstances that is incomplete or biased.
Is it possible that what you mean is “ not according to traditional thinking”, or even “not involving language”, when you say “not logical”? A pure physical sensation would still be a logical outcome if you believe (as I do) that physical sensations are a consequence of observed circumstances and the inherent functioning of a human being. It might just not be described in words in your mind yet.
Thank you again,
Hi Always Reflecting,
It’s my pleasure nd thank you for your very thought-provoking post!
My distinction regarding “logical” and “not logical” is the part of us connected with Higher wisdom – which is never anyone else’s authority or information – rather comes from the wisest part of the self.
Sadly “logic”, fo rmany, can be limited from past experience and filters and layers of programming – rather than the voice of Source.
How can we know the difference? For me in times of trouble and struggle, letting go of “that dense painful energy” and filling with Light, where that trauma was, ushers in access to Higher dimensional “knowing” “solutions” and “synchroniscity” that mere logic couldn’t access, because that was not The Source part of ourselves. In fact often “logical” in trauma, only can access thoughts that are on the same frquency of the trauma. (It was certaintly like that for me.)
Having said this, the more in communion with Source, letting go of lower dimensional fear and filling with Light, the more thoughts become the channel of The Higher Mind, even in times of stress.
As a previous self-procalimed study, analysis, logical left brain focused person, I can attest to the miraculous and thrilling up-level, that came into my life, as a result of “getting out of the way”.
Is this granting more clarity around this? Maybe we are talking about the same thing – just differently? Maybe your “logic”, your natural thoughts grants you access to the wise, calm and sound part of you?
Is that not the voice of Source, your Higher Self?
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Hi. What an interesting topic and great question!! I’m tossing in my two cents. I see logic as the science or mathematics of Thinking. We’re ok with the Science of it. We have to have accurate calculation ability. That’s not the problem. It is when we’re applying logic to false data that we get to a wrong conclusion. It is the Data that is false, tainted and influenced by dark forces of pain that make logic useless as first step in recovery. Someone’s logic can’t even get applied because the pain is so great that nothing makes sense. Pain is not a thought. It is an emotional state of being that separates is from the part is our brain that is logical. Therefore logic would be the wrong tool to reach for to help with pain. There is only confusion and disconnect. It is only when we’re cleared of pain, given Truthful Data and spiritual help that human logic becomes useful. The Spirit is higher than our individual minds. Our mind has to be fed by the Spirit of Truth in order to allow healing. Logic great and extremely helpful, but only when we’re at a clear state of mind. First however, we have to become Whole with Source Spirit and that is done not by thinking our way out of darkness but by surrendering to Divine Love.
Iris sweetheart,
reading the follow …
“Someone’s logic can’t even get applied because the pain is so great that nothing makes sense. Pain is not a thought. It is an emotional state of being that separates is from the part is our brain that is logical. Therefore logic would be the wrong tool to reach for to help with pain. There is only confusion and disconnect. It is only when we’re cleared of pain, given Truthful Data and spiritual help that human logic becomes useful. The Spirit is higher than our individual minds. Our mind has to be fed by the Spirit of Truth in order to allow healing. Logic great and extremely helpful, but only when we’re at a clear state of mind. First however, we have to become Whole with Source Spirit and that is done not by thinking our way out of darkness but by surrendering to Divine Love….”
I had goosebumps all over … WOW – has this ever been expressed in a clearer more concise way?
I doubt it.
I learn so much for you – you are an Angel!
So much love to you!
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Everything you’ve said here is sooooo true. I wish you would speak more about healing from a child’s narcissistic abuse. I can’t seem to heal from my own son’s abusive behavior. He was “on the edge” even as a teenager but once he met his NARC wife he got so much worse. I know it is she who has pushed him over the edge and distancing from her is no problem – it’s distancing from my precious son that’s killing me.
Thanks Melanie for all your information….it really has helped.
Hi Elizabeth,
I can’t tell you how relevant this is to so many people in this community, having the absolute trauma of one’s own child abusing them.
Elizabeth the healing is identical – NARP is the answer http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp , getting the trauma out and the Light in … as well as being a part of our wonderful NARP community who know how to help hold you and coach you through this.
It’s the only solution I know of that brings true relief as well as alignment in the Higher realms of coming together in love, IF it can be possible in this lifetime.
Sending you love and healing
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Dear Melanie!
Whether it was “pre determined/scripted” that I would, in this lifetime, now, seemingly tragically, reengage with the narcissist, has ceased to be a question for me…..
When I first met this person I had this haunting feeling that I knew her from “somewhere” before!
I’ve had several “past life regressions” done for me by a Lakota shaman that indicated that was true….that, indeed, I did know her before….
However, in each “lifetime” some form of tragedy ended my relationship to/with her and that, now, this lifetime it is no different….
In light of all of that I often wonder what my life would be like or would have been like without meeting this person and going through so much, that’s really been incredibly difficult, with her.
After listening to you, Melanie, for sometime now and following NARP guidelines in the best way that I’m able, I know the answer is that ” this is being done for me and not to me”….
And, thankfully, there is a lot of solace in that….
Although I don’t understand karma and the inexplicable, to my ordinary mind, mysterious way that things seem to work in this universe, I believe that all of this has been done for me so that I use this opportunity to grow as a human being which opportunity would not have manifested had I not been with this person for such an, often excruciating, length of time….
As a result of this often contentious and difficult relationship with this person I have had to meet “head on” challenges that may never or may not have arisen otherwise both psychologically and emotionally and certainly spiritually had this person/narcissist never been such a significant part of my personal existence/ evolution on this planet now and previously….
Sometimes it seems so unfair that in order for us to reach a place within where we understand and KNOW how to live our lives, that we have to go “through” so much agony and tragedy for us to get to that place….
Of course I don’t really believe that life is unfair but it sure seems like that at times, especially after the many different tragic events I’ve experienced in this lifetime….
Well, anyway, after all of that, I’m so grateful I will be able to continue to navigate my life in a much more and better balanced way because I am a Narper!
Though the question might still linger “where would I be without all of these different experiences and secondly where would I be without NARP to help me as I go through all of these life experiences”…
The answer is “I don’t know” but I’m sure grateful to be here and be a “Narper”….
Thanks so much for this article, Melanie!
Sending love and gratitude! ❤️🦋❤️
Hi Peter,
the key out of karma is this “I have the choice to not choose this anymore.”
What is the point of reliving lessons lifetime after lifetime with certain people? That’s not growth – it’s torture.
And .. for so many of us N-abused people, who had been repeating it for lifetimes (I did too!) that meant confronting and going through all the fears that were necessary to let go.
It doesn’t end until we say “no more” and stop participating then purge it all. It means losses, often, on many levels but finally we win our soul – and then all else can be rebuilt and thrive forward from there.
There are no half measures with this – or eating the cake whilst going on the diet!
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Y’know, I read Melanie’s blog posts here and it really gives me strength. Yet, I read the posts by others here, and it really, REALLY gives me strength. Thank you to this entire community.
So true M from C,
we are so blessed!
I feel the same!
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Dear Melanie,
A truly fantastic article because it is to the human mind “logically mind-blowing” that we’ve fallen for these despicable creatures. It can be difficult to explain and having your blog to read and share with others so they too can grasp what the hell is really is going on AND know there is true help with NARP is life saving.
Two and half years ago I found you. I was, as they say, beyond a hot mess and an incredibly broken down person with not much left to give in any capacity. With NARP I gained enough of my soul back to leave everything behind and be happy even after the divorce losing so much financially – I deeply understood that I had to “lose it all to get it all”. I went no-contact with the ex-spouse narc and one year ago the narc mother. ZERO REGRETS.
Now, at times I just shake my head and shudder when I recall the horrendous abuse of narcs in my life and having NARP to rely on to remove the dark traumas wedged within me is beyond the greatest gift in the world! The more I do NARP/QFH shifts the more I realize that I go into the session with the “trigger” and what really comes up is nothing that my logical mind was tracking. If I get enough of the trauma out then I feel so incredibly calm, peaceful, happy and filled with joy once the light replaced the dark trauma. When I first started doing NARP I didn’t understand much of it but I truly had no where else to turn (I’d tried everything else!) so I trusted the process and it still worked. As more and more trauma leaves me and is replaced by light I can comprehend your healings so much more.
I feel whole and incredibly happy, joyful, blessed and very grateful for you, NARP, MTE Staff and the NARP Community. I look forward to seeing you Valentine’s Day! With Love, XOXO!
Hi Beth!
What a beautiful inspirational comment you’ve made! You are so right about NARP!
I can’t say that NARP has saved my life but it sure has helped me get back on track! The entire process has been rewarding in so many ways! 🕊
Thank you so much for sharing! 💞
Hi Beth,
you are SUCH an inspiration!
Beth, I believe you have just described NARP in one of the most succinct ways I have ever heard.
I agree – it is becoming more and more apparent to me too .. JUST get out the bad inner energy, fill where it was with LIGHT – stop trying to work it out – just feel calm and full and at peace … and THEN everything works from this place.
Energy, inspiration, guidance, wisdom, courage, answers, synchronicity and miracle shows up.
It sounds too simple.
But what isn’t simple is JUST accepting this is the way for us to live. It means that the Higher NON logical part of us is now in charge. Our part? Just dp the Mdules in NARP http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp to get out of the way.
That’s how I work with it now and it is serving me more powerfully than ever before.
It’s beautiful that you are on this journey too Beth.
Can’t wait to be with you on Valentine’s Day!
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Dear Mel. I don`t know if I suffered at the hands of narc people all my life or if i just suffered by the hands of mean people ? at any rate I really don`t understand what you all are trying to say , seems Greek to me . Maybe it is because I am old . I really don`t know. I do know I would never in a million years want my worst enemy to have to go through these things. All though I do believe in the higher power and a God and creator of all things, otherwise I certainly would not have survived. But just wanted also to say I am so happy you all have come out of the trauma , I still suffer this , but I know all things will be made well for all that is deserving … the others to their very end . and a great good buy . thanks for taking the time to read my thought .
Thank this really reinforced me in
knowing where I am as a Thriver . I am grateful to you for helping me to heal through your program .😃 HUGS
Hi Valerie,
please know how welcome you are lovely lady!
Much Love
Mel 🙏💞🦋