Valentine’s Day Special – How To Choose Yourself

It doesn’t matter how many times you have been through the wringer with the narcissist or how much knowledge you have of their tactics. Feeling empty and alone around Valentine’s Day can still make you vulnerable to ‘hoovering’ – or even to reaching out to the narcissist yourself.

Today’s Thriver TV episode is a Valentine’s Day Special, where I cover why this is. I also empower you to choose yourself before any toxic person – and that is the ultimate protection from the danger of being taken in by an abuser again.

This is also your final call for my Manifesting 5D Love Relationships Event, which takes place on Valentine’s Day. You only have one day left to sign up for being able to let go of toxic people with ease, and embrace self-partnering and true Love, regardless of what anyone else is or isn’t doing, so watch or read to the end for all the information you need to participate in this special event.

 

 

Video Transcript

Welcome to Thriver TTV, where you will learn it’s possible to not only survive narcissistic abuse, but also to truly thrive after it – regardless of who the narcissist is, how long you have suffered the abuse, and even if it has been ongoing since earliest childhood. If this is the kind of content that interests you, please subscribe to my YouTube channel and share my information with anyone else it could help.

Today we are going to talk about the dangers that could trip you up on Valentine’s Day, and how you can choose you and your best life instead of a toxic individual.

Let’s get started about the specific dangers of Valentine’s Day after being narcissistically abused.

 

Falling For The Hoover

If you are still feeling hooked and devastated by a narcissist, they can use Valentine’s Day to pull you back in and get narcissistic supply from you – which means attention that feeds their ego.

They may reach out to you and have no intention of meeting up or truly connecting. Their intention is only to hook you back in to contact as an ego-stroke.

Or they may try to reconnect by setting up a date with you – not because they have changed and want to love you healthily, but simply to get control back to ultimately hurt you again.

Maybe it’s about accessing more of the ‘stuff’ that they think they can get from you, such as sex, money or other resources.

They may want to stop you moving on, because that would be an insult to their ego. Or maybe it’s so that they can get you back into a relationship with them, only to dump you this time to get revenge.

They may not even show up for your date – either cancelling with an excuse or dropping you at the very last moment.

Maybe reaching out is about them recycling you to hurt their present lover and triangulate them with you.

All of this is shocking and terrible. Even if you’ve been through this before with the narcissist, they really up their game in the approach to Valentine’s Day because they know it is a time when people often feel low, alone and needy. If this applies to you, you could be highly susceptible to getting hoovered back and hurt in this way.

 

Breaking No Contact With The Narcissist

The other danger is that you may make contact with the narcissist yourself.

I completely understand how this is possible. We tell ourselves the lie that “just one more date won’t hurt” and “they’re not going to get to me this time”. We can easily deceive ourselves that taking just a little bit of poison is something we can handle, rather than drinking from the well of it.

Yet experience tells us that it never is just taking a sip – although even a sip of poison is enough to do serious harm. All too often a sip turns into massive gulps and the outcome is devastating to you. I know because I did this too, so many times I can’t count.

Additionally, we can put so much pressure and expectation on ourselves at Valentine’s Day: “I should be partnered up. I should go out to dinner. I should have a date. I should be spending it with a love interest”.

We fool ourselves that it is ok to reconnect with the narcissist because we shouldn’t be spending Valentine’s Day alone.

Or maybe you reach out because you cannot bear the thought of them possibly spending Valentine’s Day with someone else. This is because some part of you is still holding on to the hope that somehow, in amongst all the dysfunction, abuse and trauma that you have experienced, there is a way to fix this person and your relationship.

It leads to disaster, and the results are always more abuse. We know this, and this time will be no different.

 

 

 

Feeling Alone and Empty Does Not Generate Love

Universal Law – also known as Quantum Law – is the true vibrational law that governs our lives. Universal Law just is. Until understanding Universal Law, it can be so difficult to know where to start to change our life away from torturous pain and loss – such as we experience with narcissistic abuse – into a life that works and is truly gratifying.

This Law is simple: ‘So within, so without’, meaning that the results you reap from any action you take, are dependent upon your emotional foundation whilst taking that action. So whatever is going on in your inner world when you show up, is going to be the template of what you experience from your outer world.

Reconnecting with the narcissist at a time of feeling down, empty and in pain can only result in the generation of more empty, downtrodden, traumatic emotions and experiences.

Ironically when you are feeling solid, peaceful, full and emotionally self-partnered, you would rather nail yourself to the back of a burning door than reconnect with a narcissist. Your soul is simply not aligned with your own soul-destruction when you are in a good emotional inner place.

This brings us to the obvious solution for ceasing our own self-destruction with these people, which is to choose yourself.

Choose to dedicate your attention and energy to healing yourself back from emptiness and brokenness to become full, satiated and solid on the inside – regardless of who this person is, what they are, and how they are behaving.

Of course this requires No Contact, blocking this person, and setting up third party only communication if there are legalities to go through, so that you don’t drink again from the poisoned well.

But that’s only the first piece. You have been metaphorically hit by a truck. The real, true, inner you has been emotionally and spiritually desecrated. This is the seat of your soul, from which your entire life is unfolding. You have literally experienced soul devastation, and that needs specific healing. Researching all about narcissists, reading about narcissists, venting and talking isn’t that level of healing.

Healing your soul – the real core of you – is that level of healing. This is what Quanta Freedom Healing accesses and activates – the recovery of your somatic inner limbic system where trauma impacts and is stored.

I promise you, I was once a person who drank often from that poison well. I couldn’t stop. On Valentine’s Day – and any other day when I felt defective, unlovable, unworthy, empty, needy, heartbroken, and devastated – I was chugging down the poison from that well.

Then I discovered Quanta Freedom Healing. I made it my mission to heal myself at my core – and in healing the inside of me, I came back home to myself as a single woman. Even though there were many people and things that I’d lost from my life, I finally unconditionally felt whole, full and satiated. My soul had been healed to know its true state of connection to Ultimate Love, to Universal Source Energy and to my Higher Self, from where love originates.

Painful things could still happen to me (and they do to this day), but from that day forward I had the process of Quanta Freedom Healing to let go of pain and triggers, and to hand it back to Source to transmute for me. I was able to shift out the trauma and replace it with love, wisdom, and the power of Oneness, Universal Source instead. That’s what changed everything for me, and it will for you too – no matter what you are feeling right now.

 

In Conclusion

Most of all, Quanta Freedom Healing is going to allow you to finally choose you – this Valentine’s Day and every day – so you’re no longer selling your soul to a toxic person. You will be able to hold that space and choose yourself, no matter what is happening in your life. You will start to heal and deal in Quantum ways that will astound you.

Speaking of which, tomorrow (February 14th) is the date of my Valentine’s Day ‘Manifesting 5D Love Relationships’ Event. This will help you heal, align with yourself, and manifest real healthy love – consciously and with wisdom.

This is the last call for you to access this powerful global event and healing, which you will be able to keep for life.

If you want a super-boost out of narcissistic pain, fear, loneliness and heartbreak – or are feeling you can never trust and open your heart to love again – then this event is for you and is not to be missed.

You can access it by clicking on this link. And if you can’t make it live, please know you will receive a recording to watch at a time that works for you.

I hope this has resonated with you. I hope this has given you the truth. As always, keep smiling, keep healing, and keep thriving because there is nothing else to do if you want your real life and real love.

Until the next one, lots of love. Bye-bye.